May These Uplifting Wings Save You
by bri is spiffy
Summary: Erin Collingwood always lived in the East London slums. One night she runs into two people in black and silver coats and they take interest in the winged scars on her back. How will she take life as an exorcist? Her mysterious past will be unveiled...
1. Strange Night

The sun rose over the hills, shedding light across the East end of London. Rays of light shone through the narrow streets that twisted and winded like a well thought out maze. The curbs were dirty and it wasn't unusual to see a rat or too skittering about. The houses built slim and tall, were all right next to each other and clotheslines were strung across some alleyways, shirts and pants blowing in the breeze.

It wasn't much, but it was what I called home. Though the word 'home' wasn't something my family knew of. My 'family' consisted only of me and I lived wherever I needed. The old abandoned lofts or the gutter, it was all the same. My name is Erin Collingwood, the last name being something I choose out myself.

I pulled myself up in a sitting position from the pile of blankets I used as a bed and stared at myself in the long dusty and cracked mirror leaned up against the wall. My long auburn hair was hanging limply around my face and my green eyes looked dull. I was a little worse for wear but I managed. I was dressed in loose black cotton pants and I white cotton blouse, stained.

I had added a vest and some fingerless gloves. It was spring so I wasn't too cold at night. I tied up the leather boots I'd come across a few months back and dropped myself out the window with my small bag of belongings. I landed easily on the roof below and jumped to the ground. There wasn't much activity this morning, it was still early: the perfect time to snatch up some breakfast.

My head poked up over the edge of a large wooden crate, like a little red tomato with my auburn hair. My eyes were wide and eager as I looked over the local fruit stalls. _One big juicy apple, if I can get that them I'm good till lunch_, I thought while my eyes scanned the produce. I spied a bunch of ripe green apples opposite me and to the right and my lips pulled up into a smile.

"Come to mamma", I murmured and leapt from my spot. I darted through the people browsing the fruit and snatched two apples like lightning. Just as quickly I dashed down the street and out of sight before anyone could yell at me. I didn't stop till I reached my favourite elevated spot in what we called the 'town square'.

I licked my lips and took a deep bite into the bite, savouring the excellent crunch it made. "Oh yeah, that's what I needed", I moaned in satisfaction and I heard some giggles below. I chucked a glance down and saw three troublemakers I knew only too well.

"Rin the fox strikes again!" Cried Deon, the little one with a mop of mousy brown hair. His best friend, Johnny, grinned at me. "You going to play tag with us again Rinny?" I took another bite of my apple and contemplated this, lazily leaning over to look down on them. "Sure", they cheered and I was honoured with a small smile from Johnny's shy little brother, Ben, who shared their bright blonde hair and blue eyes.

I felt no guilt being fifteen and playing tag against little 12 year olds. "We'll meet here later", Deon yelled and I gave him a little wink and a nod.

Darkness had set quickly over London. Plenty of light still shone down on the streets but hints that night was drawing near had made themselves known. I sat, slumped on the boxes below my favourite seat, my eyes flitting about warily. "Boo!" High voices cried and the two boys jumped over from behind me.

I raised an eyebrow and ruffled their hair, "Better luck next time kiddies, you gotta get up pretty early to get a jump on Rin!" I told them with a grin and our eyes all met, the same fire burning in them. "Rin is it, the time limit is total darkness", Johnny said in a low voice and a sly grin crept over my face. "Just try and catch the fox", I whispered and that was it, I set off running like the wind.

I ducked under wires and over boxes, my eyes scanning everything. Tonight felt stranger than usual, darker and scarier. The air got colder and as I paused at the corner of a building, my breath fogged in the air. I stopped, something felt…wrong. I kept still and listened carefully, I was right, I couldn't hear any other footsteps.

_Deon, Johnny?_ I thought to myself and the crease between my eyebrows formed, there was definitely something up. My back was aching, a stinging pain that only happened in serious situations. That's when I heard it.

A young boy, his high voice whimpering in pain. I heard someone else near him, whispering things quickly. The second boy sounded like he was crying. "Johnny?" I yelled, my voice breaking the silence pressing down on me. The sobbing got louder and I turned my head, it was coming from near the docks. My breathing hitched and my lip quivered.

I hurried through the night, ignoring the ominous darkness that seemed to be leaking into the streets and absorbing everything it saw. My heart was beating at a hundred miles an hour and there was sheen of sweat across my neck. I saw it, the green of Johnny's shirt and I crumpled down next to them.

"What's going on?" I asked breathlessly as a clap of thunder sounded in the sky._ Shit, rain wasn't going to help this situation_, I thought and looked over the boys. Johnny was fine, but Deon was another story. His left leg was sticking out at a funny angle and I could see blood on his forehead. "He fell and hit his leg?" I guessed and Johnny nodded, sniffling.

"Wbat are weeb donna do?" He asked me through his sobs. "We're going to get him to a doctor", I decided and gently picked him up.

My shoes slammed into the pavers and rain fell on my face, chilling me to the bone but I kept going. Deon was what was important. I had forced Johnny to go home and was desperately running through the twisted alleyways. I couldn't find anyone. I was alone. "Please!" I screamed, trying to compete with the heavy rain, "Please! Someone help him!"

But I knew there wasn't anyone there to answer my plea. I burst out onto one of the main roads and my eyes flicked around, searching for another face. I found two. Shadowed by the strange black and silver coats they wore they walked through the street, getting further away from me. They were my only means of hope. "Hey! You over there!" I cried, but it didn't seem like they could hear me.

If they were ignoring me, the crazy screaming girl on the street, I was going to be furious. I took after them, trying not to fall on the wet pavement. "STOP!" I screeched, my voice reaching an octave higher and I collapsed on the ground, Deon cradled in my arms covered in my coat. It was hopeless. No one could hear me.

A no body was what I was, a rat to most people. Stealing their food and their blankets, who would want to help someone like me? Then, a glimmer of hope? The one in the longer coat turned his head and saw me crumpled in the gutter.

I collapsed in the small wooden chair with relief. It was warmer inside the small Inn, and with my clothes completely soaked, I eagerly accepted the warmth. They had stopped, the hooded figures. I had made my voice heard. A small smile flowed onto my lips and glanced to where the still hooded figures and a doctor where leaning over Deon.

"A broken leg and slight concussion", I heard him say quietly and the taller of figures walked over to join me. His hood slipped off to reveal a young boys face, no older than me. He had grey eyes and weirdest of all, white hair. There was a thin red scar running down the left side of his face. I felt fear in my heart but his warm smile melted that fear. "You must be freezing", he stated looking at my wet clothes and I shrugged.

"A little, but I'll be fine", I said and resisted the urge to shiver. My head was aching; today had not been my best day. I didn't deal with stress well, that's why I preferred my carefree lifestyle. I leaned over and slumped on my knees and caught him staring at my back.

I was only wearing the thin white blouse now and that was completely transparent now. "What are those?" He asked curiously and I sighed. "My marks", I explained and met his eyes.

I pointed a finger to my back and kept my position leaning on my knees. I've always had them there, they may be black but I assume they're scars not tattoos. I can't remember much from my early childhood so maybe I was in a fire?" I suggested in a weary voice. "But so intricate…" His voice trailed off and a hand reached out to touch them.

As his hand connected with the top of the right patterned scar a buzz of electricity shot through me and I sat up quickly. His hand had pulled back as soon as we touched and he was staring at me with wide eyes. "Ugh. I-I'm sorry", he stuttered and stood up quickly. I nodded quickly and my hand reached back to touch the scars, they wouldn't stop stinging now… I was so immersed I didn't notice the tall, dark figure enter the inn's lobby.

Suddenly the white haired boy yelled, "Everyone get down!" I didn't know what was going on but I slammed my chest into the ground before an explosion erupted. I glanced up in shock and my mouth dropped in horror as I saw him shooting at the tall man. White haired boys left arm had turned into a huge mechanical arm. A high-pitched scream broke through the tension, and in surprise, I realized it was mine. I felt light headed, what the hell was going on?

The tall figure had also transformed. Into a grotesque, mechanical looking ball with huge guns sticking out of it. My back was hurting more than ever but I tried to ignore it. White haired boy's companion, someone revealed to a tall girl with long green ponytails. She was carrying a small box with something glowing inside of it.

I found myself drawn to the little thing and couldn't take my eyes off of it. Then it started shaking in the box and ponytail girl looked down in shock. "W-What?" She asked and her and white haired boy exchanged a glance as he avoided a blow from the grotesque monster. _Smash_, the radiant ball broke from the box and flew towards me slamming into me with enormous force. I stood up and picked up, it felt warm and loving in my hands.

My long hair flowed up around me and I smiled softly, I felt happy? It left my hands and moved to my chest, my skin absorbing into it. I gasped out at the slight pain and felt my own shimmering. "Her back!" The white haired boy cried, he had destroyed the monster. I glanced back and in the glass I saw the winged scars on my back lit up, glowing a light blue. "Dear lord above…" I whispered in shock and felt everything go black.

I was slightly conscious but my body felt too heavy, I could open my eyes or move my body. My body was being carried by strong arms and heard two voices discussing quietly.

"The innocence, she has to be an accommodator!" Said a soft voice and I recognized it to be ponytail girl's one. "I wonder what Komui will say", another voice murmured and identified it to be white haired boys.

"He'll be ecstatic, brother is insane…" Ponytail replied and sounded slightly annoyed. I stirred in his arms I heard a soft chuckle. "Hey girl?" He asked me quietly but didn't expect an answer. "Welcome to the Black Order".


	2. The Black Order

The dripping woke me, it sounded like a small tap was nearby. I forced my eyes open and was welcomed by the darkness, night? I wasn't entirely sure. This darkness wasn't like before; it wasn't menacing or calculating, it was open and friendly. I was lying on a small bed, crisp white sheets pulled over me and medical equipment was stacked beside my head.

An infirmary? Again, I couldn't be sure. The ceiling seemed endless and the walls were made from concrete, making the room cool and dry. I pulled my legs over the side of the bed and assessed myself. I was now wearing loose gray pants and a tight white camisole; my hair was smoothed out and hanging loose around my face. My face seemed mostly unscathed, a few scratches but that was it.

My arms and legs though, had bigger cuts and bruises, not very attractive. My head hurt, but I felt fine, no fever at least. This place was strange, I vaguely remember the words 'Black Order' but I'm not sure where I heard them. "Exploration", I said to myself, my voice nothing more than a slight whisper and I wandered out of the room.

Most of the floor looked like my room, just more open, with thick poles holding the roof up. I assumed we were underground, where underground I don't know. There was calmness here, a great sense of peace and I felt at home. There was a wall in front of me, decorated with intricate carvings and I found my eyes following them with curiosity.

They were elaborate, just like the markings on my mark. Then it hit me, _my back_! The memories flowed into me and I remembered the blinding blue light that had beamed from me. Was I a freak? Was this one of those places they took freaks like me? White Hair and Ponytail had seemed pretty odd themselves, were they like me? Who was I really?

All the questions hammered into my brain and I groaned, taking a seat and clutching my forehead. "Confused?" A soft voice asked and my head snapped up, locking on a thin figure across the room.

It was White Hair. He pushed himself off the pole he was leaning against and walked slowly towards me. He wasn't wearing the black and silver coat now, just a plain navy blue singlet and black pants. "It's pretty insane at first. Confusing doesn't even cover it", he said nostalgically and took a seat next to me. I inched away slowly and glared at him. I had thought I could trust him, but that was before and this was now.

He'd taken me to this weird place, big it may be, but it was still weird and still foreign to me. "Where am I", I asked bluntly and didn't take my eyes off his face. I'd cheated and stolen over the years and had a knack for knowing when people lied to me, he wasn't getting away with anything.

"And I want the whole truth and nothing but the truth", I tacked on the end narrowing my eyes. He took a deep breath and looked slightly pained, like maybe he wasn't _allowed_ to tell me. Stupid. If you're going to basically kidnap someone, at least take him or her somewhere you're allowed. "This is the Black Order", he explained with a small smile. Ah, that's where I'd heard it.

"Wow", I started with fake enthusiasm, "That's really helpful. Do you explain things to people for a living? Because you're just amazing at it!" Sarcasm laced my tongue and I was giving him my best sour look. He sighed again and looked at my apologetically, "Sorry, but I'm not allowed to say much yet. Come with me for you're explanation", he said and led the way upstairs.

I still wasn't sure if I trusted him yet, I mean I didn't even though his name, but following him seemed like the best way to get answers. I didn't know anyone else so I felt best going with my instincts. I kept close to his side as we walked through the upper halls. There weren't many people about so I assumed it was night out and they were all asleep. Why White Hair was awake was a mystery but I felt no need to press the matter.

"The science department", I heard him murmur as we walked through a large door. I scanned the room, it looked the part all right, many men in white lab coats surrounded by complicated looking machinery. They watched us go past with appraisal in their eyes. "Komui? She's here", White Hair called out as we came to our final stop, it looked like a surgery room?

There was a large examination table in the middle of the room and terrifying looking drills in a case. _I don't want to know what those are_ _for_, I thought with a gulp and looked away quickly as someone entered the room.

He was tall and thin, dark purple hair smoothed back behind his odd white hat. He had glasses perched on the bridge of his nose and was evaluating me with his eyes, looking me up and down. "Hmmn", I heard him murmur and a smile lit up his face.

"Komui Lee, I'm the chief of staff, nice to meet you!" He said happily and I gave a little wave. He scared me; there was something a little…insane… about him. White Hair had moved to a stool to the side and was watching Komui and I intently. "Well, get up on the table. Let's examine that back of yours!" He said eagerly and I frowned, eyeing White Hair.

I had a strapless white top under my blouse and stripped down to that. He put a light over my back and I shivered as his cold finger ran over the scars. "Amazing…simply amazing", I heard him whisper in an awed voice. "These are beautiful", he told me with a soft smile and I returned the gesture. "I've always had them, as long as I can remember", I thought about it and reached back to touch them.

Electricity shot through me and I shivered again. This caught White Hair's attention and he locked eyes with me. I knew he remembered what happened in the Inn, when he had touched my scars. _So that's what had been on his mind_, I realized in surprise.

I didn't think it would bother him that much. "They look like wings", Komui mentioned as he gazed over my markings. "Your own pair of angels wings", he almost chuckled but the motion was dark and calculating.

He came with us to a room on the same floor as the science department. White Hair looked alarmed when he saw where we were heading, "Where are you taking her?" White Hair demanded angrily but Komui made no move to answer him. "Here we are!" He sung happily and White Hair covered his face in shame. I didn't see what the problem was, it was a large round room but that was about it.

There was someone else there besides us. A tall slim young man, his ridiculously long dark blue hair tied up in ponytail. He wielded a shiny sword with skill and came to a stop when we entered. "We have an eager opponent for you Kanda~!" Komui sung and I looked at him blankly, what did he mean?

This 'Kanda' grunted but moved in my direction, taking on a fighting stance. Wait… he didn't mean _me_ fight this guy…. Did he? Komui pushed me forward and whispered in my ear, "Shout activate". He and an alarmed White Hair moved out of the way and I whimpered quietly. Aw shit.

Kanda lunged forward and I tried not to scream, dodging his sword by inches and bouncing to the side. I got this sickly feeling that only my street instincts had stopped me from becoming a Rin-Kebab on the end of his sword. He was for real; there was no playing in here.

As he lunged once more there was nowhere for me to run, I remembered Komui's whisper and at the top of my lungs cried, "ACTIVATE!"

I was dead. I had to be dead. There was no way I wasn't dead. My eyes peeked open and I saw soft white surrounding me. I knew it. I was dead. I was on my way to heaven, I had to be. But then I heard it, my rapid breathing. I started to hear other things, other people breathing. I felt an aching pain in my back, worse than ever before, but I ignored it.

They folded away, the fluffy white and I realized them to be huge wings, like an angels. Kanda was in front of me, his eyes wide and his sword still poised for kill, had something stopped it? The wings? That couldn't be right… could it? The pain in my back heightened and I reached back and felt soft wings getting smaller and disappearing into my back, right where the scars were. __

I have wings…? The thought was it for me. My trembling hand lifted itself from my chest, the sword should have pierced right through, but it didn't. I felt my legs buckle beneath and Kanda lurched forward to catch me and hold me up.

I didn't care if he was a stranger; I hid my face against his chest and felt hot tears run down my cheeks. I heard him grunt once but he sat us down and made no move to pull me off. _What the hell is this place?_ Was the only thought running through my mind.

"Innocence?" I asked slowly with a frown. Kanda was sitting next to me back in Komui's room, his sword back in its sheath. Komui nodded, he had explained everything to me and taken me down to an even weirder place where I had my innocence 'examined'. More like probed, I thought with a shiver of the giant white figure that had said I had a synchro rate of 89%.

"So my 'innocence' makes me sprout wings?" I asked sceptically, it all sounded like loony talk. "Your innocence is parasitic, it means you turn part of your body into a weapon, in your case the wings are part of your body", he explained in a matter-of-fact voice and the perfect mad scientist grin to match. "That means you're the same type as Allen!" He added on happily and I frowned, Allen?

I looked over to Kanda who gestured to White Hair. "He means Moyashi over there", Kanda grunted and I giggled. I bowed to Moyashi with a big grin, "It's nice to meet you Moyashi! Your name is very cute!" He jumped off his seat in fury, "MY NAME'S ALLEN! BAKANDA!" He growled and stalked off in the other direction. He pouted and reached out after him, "Sorry Allen…" I mumbled a reply and knew he couldn't hear me anyway.

This made Komui burst out laughing, "Don't worry Rin, he likes you a lot, it's Kanda here he hates", he said with a laugh and I frowned. "How do you know my name?" I wondered suspiciously. He grinned mischievously, "We know everything".

Kanda groaned and gave me a light knock on the head. "Don't listen to this guy, he's insane". He gave me a slight wave of the hand as he wandered out of the room and I smiled, I decided I liked Kanda.

The room I was given was small, but cosy. I loved it! I had a single mattress bed with was covered in a rich purple doona and had matching pillows. It seemed they had decorated the room for me while I was sleeping. I flopped down on the bed and gazed up at the concrete ceiling.

"I'm home", I whispered to myself and loved the feeling that rushed through my heart when I said those words. A home… That was something I'd never had. It was that and a family; those were the two things I always wanted. I dreamed about them every night as I slept in the gutter, but I never thought I'd have one of them so soon.

A strange home yeah, but still a home. The people I'd met and will meet, they'd be my family, my friends, my world. Life is finally looking up.


	3. A New Uniform

A/N: I apologize for not updating in so long! One, i had a long writers block with Rin, nothing would work! *angry face* But then some inspiration came up the words started flowing again! Enjoy!

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It was dark. The air swirled around me, dark and mysterious. My eyes snapped open and I found myself looking over the choppy surface of a lake. The water, like black oil, whirled back and forth, creating small waves. The wind bit into my face, flinging my long hair out behind me. I was all alone, standing by the shore, the storm raging all around me.

Why was I here? Why was I alone? Was there anything I could do? That's when I saw him, his white hair a dead giveaway. He stood opposite me, giving me a flash of that confident smile. He was wearing his signature coat, the silver buttons flashing. He stood on the edge of a jagged rock, about to jump in.

I ran forward, screaming for him to stop, trying to warn him that he'd be killed, but he couldn't hear me. It was like I wasn't even there, he now couldn't see me, and he certainly couldn't hear me. I didn't exist. I felt the tears running down my cheeks as he disappeared under the black water's surface.

I woke with a jolt and sat up quickly, my eyes flickering around the room nervously. My hair was a mess and I had the thin sheets on my bed in disarray. I slowed my breathing down and brushed an auburn strand from my eyes. _A dream_, I told myself and sat up, my head in my arms, _it was only a dream_.

I wasn't entirely sure what to change into; I hadn't been given one of those black and silver coats yet so I choose out slim black pants and a flimsy white blouse. I brushed out my hair, letting it frame my face nicely, hanging far past my waist. A sad smile was on my lips and I mentally slapped myself, I had to cheer up. "Right!" I said to myself and walked out the door.

The cafeteria was a large open room with many people talking and eating. Some were dressed in the black and silver coats so I identified them as other exorcists and some were finders. I stood there; I had no idea what to do. "Scared?" Someone asked in my ear and I yelped, twirling around to see Moyashi. He grinned at me and gave me a little push, leading me towards a small line.

"_This_ is where we get our food, Jerry can make anything!" He told me eagerly and I nodded quietly, listening. He kept babbling on about different meals and I found myself really laughing, I hadn't _really_ laughed in a long time. It was nice, I liked being here, and the people were kind. The dark skinned man behind the counter took one look at me and started laughing; did I have something on my face?

"Fresh meat", he grinned at me and took the glasses off. "What can I get you sweetheart?" He asked and I thought about it. "Do you have cod?" I asked timidly and he nodded with a smile. "Good ol' cod and chips, you a Brit?" He wondered and I have him a little nod, which only made him smile more. "Just like Allen!" He informed me and I looked up in surprise at him. He smiled, "I'm English too", he said quietly.

He sat down beside me at the table and I knew there was shock on my face as I watched him literally vacuum a mountain of food into his mouth. _How on earth can he eat that much?_ I wondered and poked at the crispy chips on my plate, I suddenly wasn't feeling too hungry.

"Moyashi~! You know what they say, 'you are what you eat'!" A cheerful voice sung and a head of red hair plonked down on across from Allen and I. I blinked at him at surprise and he took a good look at me. "Hi there! You must be Rin! I'm Lavi!" He said with a goofy grin and stuck his hand out. I grinned at him and shook his hand eagerly.

Ponytail sat down next to Lavi and gave me a friendly smile, "I'm Lenalee, Komui's sister". I froze and Lavi burst out laughing, "Don't Worry Rin-chan, they aren't anything alike!" I sighed with relief and took a bite of my food, it tasted great! Lavi had squirmed from his seat to sit down next to me, on the other side of Allen.

"Meet anyone else besides Moyashi yet?" He asked me and I hesitated, watching Allen fume with rage. "Ugh, yeah. Kanda!" I told him with a big grin. I saw a mischievous glint in his eyes and he grinned back at me, "Oh? So you met Yuu?" When I gave him a confused look he explained, "Just call him that next time you see him". I wasn't sure what he was up to but it sounded fun! Fun was something I missed a lot.

I wandered through the halls of the Black Order, gazing up at the high ceilings in wonder. The place really was amazing. Allen had given me a proper tour earlier but everything was still a little sketchy in my brain. I wandered into a familiar round room. I shuddered_, the training room_. That stupid Komui and his crazy ideas that could get people killed, me being his most recent test subject.

And just like déjà vu, he was there. Practicing lunging with his gleaming sword, out of uniform in a plain white dress shirt and black pants. He heard my entrance and spun around, watching me warily. He relaxed, seeing me as no threat, something that irked me slightly. I could be threatening…when I wanted to be. Just give me a shiny weapon and I could scare people out of their underwear!

"I wanted to thank you", I said quietly, sure that he heard me. He made a 'che' noise but put his sword back in his sheath, taking a seat against the wall. I hesitatingly took a seat beside, staying quiet. _What do I say now?_ I wondered and I twisted my fingers nervously.

He said nothing and neither did I; we sat side by side against the cool stonewall, my eyes flickering about the room. "How did you get discovered?" His voice was gruff but not angry, he didn't meet my eyes. When I didn't answer he sighed, "The innocence, you being an accommodator".

I blinked, "Oh". I pulled my legs to my chest and took a deep breath, "I'm still not sure how all this happened. It was back at home in London, some of this 'innocence' that Lenalee and Allen had collected flew straight at me and my body absorbed it, my tattoos lit up". I sighed again, this one deeper with hints of depression in it.

"Hmmn. So had to leave all family and friends behind". It wasn't a question this time but a statement, I could hear it in his voice, it sounded like something he was familiar with. "Nope, no family or friends to speak of", I said lightly, sighing again. Hearing this his eyes shot down to mine.

"None…?" His shock wasn't surprising; it's not often that you meet someone with absolutely no one close to him or her. "Nope, I'm an orphan, I spent my first few years in a rundown orphanage but ran away just after I turned four. I spent my life scavenging on the streets for food and warmth. Not the best upbringing, but I was always a survivor".

I shrugged, it didn't bother me to talk about my past, I mean it was all over; I didn't need to worry about it. Yes, I never did find out why I was orphaned but I didn't need adults, I could make it on my own.

"Must have been hard…" He said softly, his eyes were clouded and unreadable. I shrugged again with a small smile. "I guess so, but each night I thanked the stars for being alive". I bounced to my feet and skipped across the room.

I turned on my toes to look back at him with a grin, "I mean, that's the greatest gift we're given. We're alive, what could be better? I'm not going to waste my life in depression!" I turned back around and skipped out.

"Oh Rin! Komui wants to see you down in the Science Department", a guy with a large stack of papers in his hand yelled out as I ran past, I think his name was Reever? "O…kay", I said slowly with a frown. If Komui was involved it usually was something you wanted to steer clear from. I still hadn't forgiven him from the Kanda incident in the training room.

The department was unusually silent, my guess was most of them had escaped to a peaceful lunch away from their crazed chief. "Komui?" I called cautiously taking a step into his surgery room, my eyes darting around. "There's our little angel…!" A deep voice moaned and a pair of arms grabbed me around the waist. I yelped and started thrashing wildly; kicking at anything I could come in contact with.

"Owwww! Stop that Rin! I was only kidding!" A high voice complained and the arms loosened. I whirled around and glared at a pouting Komui, damn him…what a creep. "It's your own fault!" I huffed crossing my arms angrily. "Now what did you call me down here for? Spit it out!" His pout disappeared and was replaced with huge grin.

"Right! Something arrived this morning!" He bent down and pulled out a large slim box with my name scrawled across the top. "Open it!" He said eagerly, shoving it at me. I fumbled and managed to grab it, taking the top off. Before I could even get a good look at it he interrupted, "It's your new customized exorcist uniform!" He sung and clapped his hands happily. My face lit up and I pulled it out, laying it across the table.

It was similar to the other exorcist uniforms. The material and colours weren't any different, and it had the same silver badge pinned to it. Mine was similar to Lenalee', to be more exact, the top half was a black and silver jacket with long sleeves and a black blouse with a silver trim to wear underneath.

The bottom half was a pleated white skirt with the same black material covering most of the front and back, showing the most of the short skirt at the sides. The blouse was tucked into the skirt. I had a pair of thigh-high black socks and a pair of black boots with small heels that went just past my ankles.

I grinned and hugged it to me, "I just love it Komui! I'm going to go get changed! Thank you so much!" I cried and dashed from the room, clattering up the stairs two steps at a time. I saw Lavi's head of brilliant red hair before I heard his laughing voice and almost slammed straight into him. "Oh! Sorry, in a rush!" I apologized and kept running leaving him and Allen behind me in the corridor.

I left the jacket undone, showing the black cotton blouse underneath and had my socks pulled up as high as they could go. So comfortable, my thoughts were ecstatic as I danced around my room, admiring the black and silver. I placed my hands on my hip and broke out into a grin. "Finally, I'm an exorcist!" I giggled and ran out of my room to show it off.

A whistle and a yell, "Looking good Rin-chan~!" Lavi's smile was huge and his eyebrows waggling. Allen reached up from behind him and slammed his fist down onto his head. "What was that for Moyashi? I mean, she's totally my type!" He went all wiggling and his eyes went dreamlike. I stared with a raised eyebrow but said nothing.

Allen sighed in frustration and gave me a smile, "Ignore him. The uniform really does look great". My eyes sparkled, "Really? It doesn't look silly or anything?" I stared at him carefully, searching for any hint of a lie, but he was completely earnest with his words. "It really does, you're finally one of us!" I smiled to myself and sat down on the bench across from him.

One of us… it was like… like I finally had a place to call home and friends to call my own. _No_, my thoughts corrected themselves, I _do _have a home and new friends to call my own!

"Oh that's right, Komui stopped us just after you ran into us before. He said as soon as you got changed to go to his office. You've got a mission Miss Exorcist!" Allen smiled and waved me goodbye, hitting the daydreaming Lavi in the head again in annoyance.

I took a seat on the red lounge, flipping through the booklet Komui had just handed me, everything I needed to know about my first mission. "…You still aren't very stable with your innocence so this shouldn't be too hard, from what your intelligence tells us. Also I can't have you going alone, so you'll have a partner". He smiled while I gave him a look.

"A partner, who?" At that moment someone walked in and quietly took a seat on the lounge beside me. I looked up at the strong jaw line of his face and his long blue hair hanging loose around his face, he was attempting to pull it back into it's usual style, his matching mission booklet between his teeth since his hands were busy.

"You too have fun~! Kanda don't eat her, ok!" Komui said happily and waved us out with Kanda giving him his best 'che'. I stared back down at my booklet as we got onto the boat with a finder, _Russia hmmn?_ I thought and gripped the pages tighter.


	4. First Mission

My feet barely brushed the ground as I darted along the tracks, a swift black shadow running on the other side a few paces ahead of me. I saw the brilliant red back lights before I saw the body of the train. I pushed myself even farther, pumping my legs to catch up with it. The other shadow had disappeared on the other side, hidden by the train and I gritted my teeth. Slowly reaching out for the door of the last carriage.

I made a leap for it and sighed in relief went my hand curled around a cold metal handle. I kept a firm hold on the tin door with two hands while my long hair flew out behind me wildly. It was a rush, 'catching' a train as it sped along deserted empty fields. The wind was icy, slamming into my face and forcing me to squint. Somewhere in the dark distance I could see lighter shades of colour. Snow.

Well it is winter and this is Russia, the freezing deserted parts past all major cities up in the extreme north. "Now", a gruff voice yelled out and I let my grip slacken and through myself off the train, landing with a hard 'thump' in a deep pile of snow.

My head poked out of the cold whiteness around me and looked up at the disapproving face standing over me. "Get up", he commanded and his hand reached down, pulling me right out of the pile in one go. "There", he told me pointing in the north, "The city of Vrousk". I could make out the large shadow of a wall surrounding what should be the city.

"Hurry up", he said in an annoyed tone and I pushed my way through the deep snow, my nose bright red from the cold. "I'm like a reindeer…" I grumbled to myself, Kanda hadn't appeared to hear me. _"But you're the cutest reindeer of them all~!"_ I could already hear what Lavi would say if he was here and groaned, trudging after my partner.

The brick walls were crumbling, broken glass covered the pavement and there wasn't a person in sight. "Definitely deserted", I mumbled as I heaved a pile of planks out of my way. Kanda had gone ahead, moving silently in the shadows of the broken buildings. There was a homemade sigh dangling at a weird angle above a collapsed doorway, it read something that I think was similar to the Bakery in English.

Komui had shoved a Russian translation book in my face just before we left. "What could have done this…?" I wondered aloud with a sad sigh, I could only imagine how many people lost their lives and all their hopes and dreams when this city was destroyed. "Hey Kanda, did the booklet say what they thought happened here?" I asked in a loud voice.

Silence followed and I paused my inspection of another sign, turning around slowly. "Kanda…?" My voice seemed loud amongst the dead silence even though it was a whisper. I took a step in the direction he'd been going when something cold clamped around my mouth.

I thrashed against the cold skin, my yells muffled by the hand. "Shut up, damn it! They'll hear us!" A hard voice hissed in my ear and the hand came off my mouth. Kanda was close behind me, his hands like ice. "Who?" I said softly. He grabbed my arm and pulled me with him into a small dark alleyway.

"Akuma, level 2. There are at least ten of them out there searching". I frowned in confusion, "Searching? For what?" He exhaled in frustration, "The innocence of course. No doubt it's a big one, with how many its lured here". He seemed annoyed by this and muttered something to himself. "Well, what do we do?" He looked down at me again, carefully appraising me.

"You stay right here, I'll get the innocence". I started to protest but he bent down to my face with narrowed eyes. "You can't fully utilize your own innocence yet. They'd turn you to dust in seconds". I scowled at him and pushed his face away, huffily taking a seat on the damp ground. "I'm not as useless as you make me out to be you know…" He gave me a 'che' and started out of the alley. "Just stay here, it's for your own good".

My hand twitched. My eyes darted back and forth in the dark. I wasn't cut out for this 'waiting' business, I couldn't handle it. _Knowing what a headstrong guy he is, he'll be the one getting hurt not me! _My thoughts were bitter and I grumbled again. Finally I leapt to me feet, scurrying to the end where Kanda had left from and peeked out. The street was still empty, but now I could hear faint explosions in the distance.

"That idiot", I muttered and stepped out into the faint light. It was sometime just after 1am and the moonlight still shone brightly down onto the street, illuminating my skin and casting long shadows. There was a slight breeze and loose strands of my hair blew out behind me, strings of red.

I listened more carefully to the explosions and turned down a different street, "Definitely this way"; I murmured to myself and tried to quieten my footsteps.

I had no idea what Kanda had been blabbing on about, I couldn't see any Akuma anywhere, I was positively the only living being in the area, beside's him of course. "What a liar!" I said huffily, my thoughts turning bitter once more. "Just trying to keep me away from the fabled 'action', ridiculous". I kicked a plank of wood out of my way then stopped, taking a seat on the ground, my feet over the gutter.

"He didn't have to lie", I mumbled softly, it sucked being alone. That liar doesn't even count as a person anymore in my books "Young lady? What on earth are you doing out here?" A panicked voice called out, not very loud but enough that I could hear. I snapped my head around to see a short, plump man in a grey suit staring at me from around a broken in door.

I said nothing at first, assessing him carefully, he didn't seem harmful. "Please, get out off the streets, those monsters will find you and eat you!" He seemed so distressed I carefully ducked inside after him.

I took not more steps away from the door, there was a small lamp lit, the flame burning dimly inside. From what I could see, this shop used to be a bookstore, tattered pages lay strewn across the floor, some covers ripped off, others not and all covered in dirt. It seemed the man's suit suffered the same fate as the books; it too was dirty and tattered.

"It's not safe out there", he informed me, pulling up two flat pieces of wood and covering them each in a thin blanket. "Is that so?" I kept my tone light, trying not to seem too interested. "And…how did this all happen?" I had taken a few more steps forward and was standing behind the piece of wood opposite the man. He was looking down at the lamp, his eyes dark pits of coal. Suddenly I felt tension in the air and the man looked up, his face twisted and distorted under the lamp's shadows.

"Oh, when my comrades and I destroyed it…exorcist!" His sharp toothed grin reached up to his ears and my eyes widened and he stood, his body jerking strangely. I starting stepping rapidly towards the door, my eyes glued to the newly revealed Akuma in front of me and didn't look where I was going. I tripped over threshold and landed with a smash on the street.

I grabbed at my throbbing elbow and gaped at the Akuma. "Time to die", it hissed and lunged forward.

My scream cut through the air like a knife, I bet even Kanda, wherever he was, could hear it. My eyes were squeezed shut and my scraped hands covering them. My heart wouldn't stop racing, it felt like my stomach dropped a few hundred meters, leaving me feeling sick. Then, against my cheek, I felt a soft reassuring touch.

My eyes opened a little; peeking through my fingers and watched the fluffy white feathers flutter in unison around me. My hands fell into my lap and I reached out, touching my velvety white wings. "You really did appear", I whispered in amazement. The support my innocence seemed to channel through me gave me courage.

I kept my safe wall around me for a moment longer, visualizing my attack and let them unfold, my eyes tense and my body ready.

There was no one in front of me, no Akuma, no man, nothing. I frowned and looked around. My innocence couldn't have destroyed it…could it? A shadow appeared and I leapt back, my instincts taking over. A lizard-like Akuma, no doubt the one from before danced before me, a long slimy tongue protruding from its mouth. I grimaced and shivered but stood still. Letting my eyes close and my innocence guide me.

My guide drifted to my hands, lifting my hands up to my back where they pulled two large feathers from my wings, I felt no pain when they should have plucked them out but ignored it. My eyes opened at the much heavier weight suddenly in my hands. The feathers had reshaped themselves into two large sharp curved stars, the edges gleaming in the moonlight.

It was like I already knew what to do, I let my mind take over from instinct and my hands grasped the stars.

I flung them out swiftly; they slashed through the air and came right into contact with the Akuma, taking it by surprise. It cut right through it, the body bursting with a brilliant light until nothing but a few pieces of metal-like material were scattered on the ground.

I grinned smugly, _useless am I? As if…ba-kanda_, my thoughts laughed and sounded happy using the nickname Allen often used for Kanda. I felt that familiar sharp sting as the wings slid back and disappeared with a flash of light into the black tattoos on my back. I did a little test with my fists and smirked, I was going to show him.

I'm a force to be reckoned with. With a chuckle I set off in a run down at the street, heading towards the sounds of explosions.

It was quite a scene. A small figure in a black and silver coat wielding a glowing sword and fighting against five Akuma. I sighed, _what a reckless idiot_. I was watching from a high ledge, the Akuma had created a huge hole in the ground, about twenty-five meters deep, I was standing at street level. The road crumbled a few meters in front of me and led to a steep fall down to the bottom.

I wrinkled my nose, the idea of falling to my death didn't really appeal to me. Something occurred to me, I reached back to feel my back. "The wings", I mumbled, "Wings...could I _fly_ down there?" I frowned; Kanda had been right about one thing earlier, I didn't know how to use my innocence very well, not enough that I could defend myself but flying was something on an entire different level.

I considered the idea, my flaming hair blowing around my face, similar to the fiery flames created in the battle below. "I'll never know if I don't try", I decided and took a step forward, closing my eyes like earlier. _Innocence, please guide me. Let me fly on golden wings and fight for my partner and myself_. I took a deep breath and whispered the words "Innocence activate".

The wings unfurled from my back, even bigger than earlier, white and fluffy. I felt them, they felt me, and we were one, one essence, one being. My eyes snapped open and I pushed off from the ground, springing high into the sky, the wind rushing by my ears like sirens. As I reached the end of my jump, tens of meters above the ground, the wings reached out.

Then I was soaring, sailing through the sky, my wings catching the wind and allowing me to drift lazily. My arms shot out, mirroring my wings and I let out a whoop of joy. I couldn't keep the grin off my face, it was the most amazing feeling, and no words could even begin to describe it. I left as light as air, my body singing with bliss.

I glanced far down below me; I could see the fighting has paused momentarily to see the girl flying above them. I grinned and took another breath, my guide told me what to do.

My arms came up over my head, like I was going to do a dive and I started to plunge, descending rapidly. As I did my arms came back down to my side, pulling out another pair of large feathers as I did. I felt them change and become sharp and heavy and grinned. The ground was getting even closer and just before I hit I pulled up, flying just above the rocky ground.

My arms spun out, flicking out my stars and destroying two Akuma. I had caught most of them unawares but one was too quick. It fired two shots, one at me as I ascended up again and one at Kanda, who was distracted by my sudden show of skills.

I narrowly darted out of the way, the shot still managed to hit the corner of my right wing and I cried out, feeling the burn go through me and seeing the bloody mess on my tip. My eyes flitted back down and widened.

Kanda. He wasn't going to see it in time. My voice, the scream it released echoed across the battlefield, calling out his name.


	5. A New Development

I spluttered heaving the weight in my hands and letting it collapse in the dirt. I fell down onto my knees beside it, breathing heavily and clamping my hand over my mouth to muffle my cries of pain. My wings had retracted themselves, the shot had spread up my wing and my tattoos were now my source of pain. It felt like I was on fire, like someone was burning the flesh right off my back.

The attack had left the tattoos not their usual black, but bleeding red with my blood. I panted and lay down on in the dirt, my hands curled into fists. I felt faint; maybe…maybe a sleep would be good. It could make the pain go away, even for a little while. Just before I closed my eyes I looked at the closed eyes of the injured exorcist beside me, his long dark blue hair loose and his hands instinctively clutching at his wounded stomach with my quick bandage job over it.

Was I dreaming? I couldn't be sure. I could feel any pain so I decided I was. It was dark; the wind was wild, whipping my hair around. And it was cold, ice cold. My breath fogged up around my face when I exhaled. There was snow too, just like the snow I had recently encountered here in Russia. I frowned, but I wasn't in Russia, this is a dream, it's not real.

_Or is it?_ A ghostly voice called out softly through the air. I looked around, but I was alone. _Who are you?_ My thoughts called out but all I heard was a faint chuckle before there was silence once more. I trudged forward, intent on finding someone to help me. I came out at the bank of a large lake. The water was like thick black liquid, the moons reflection mirrored faintly on the surface, defining the ripples.

The water wasn't frozen, despite the freezing weather around. I wasn't cold, I realized, but it didn't bother me too much. And then I saw him, his long blue hair matching mine as it blew out behind him in the wind. His skin was white under the moonlight, radiant and flawless. He was standing on a jagged edge over the lake, his body poised like he was about to dive in.

Panic shook me and I stumbled forward, my hands flailing out in front of me. "No, please don't! Please don't leave me here alone!" I tried to scream but no noise came out. Tears streamed down my cheeks as he gave me a soft smile before diving into the black, allowing it to swallow him mind and soul.

My eyes snapped open, my breath coming out in short gasps. I was crying, hot tears running down my face. I buried my face in he dirt and whimpered, "No, no, no! It's just like that dream! It just keeps finding me!" My voice was high and terrified. A cool hand came down on my shoulder and I jumped, feeling a fiery pain spark up again in my back.

I cried out and reached back, getting fingers covered in fresh blood in when I brought them back. "Calm down!" A hard voice told me and gripped my shoulder. My eyes searched in the faint light and found a pair of dark eyes staring at mine. My breathing slowed down as I calmed under his touch.

"It was only a dream", he said quietly and made me swivel around so my back faced him. "Stay still, you need medical attention", he told me in a hushed voice and I started to remember everything as he carefully bandaged me up.

I had flown back down, killing off the last two Akuma with my stars and sweeping up Kanda, despite the strain on my wing. I managed to find a dark cavern just outside the town, a little way from the town and had collapsed with Kanda there. I had done a rough job patching him up before I fainted and he seemed to have fixed himself up while I was unconscious.

"That was reckless of you", he said bluntly. I gave a small yelp of pain as he hit one of the worst spots on my back and he grunted out a sorry. "Well you can't talk. Taking on all those Akuma by yourself. Like that wasn't stupid of reckless, please". I huffed again and feel silent, squeezing my eyes shut and concentrating on my keeping my breathing even.

"Yes, but _I_ managed to get what we were looking for", he said smugly and lifted up a glowing object. I recognized it immediately, it was just like the thing Lenalee had when I first met her and Allen, it was innocence. "But how?" I wondered and I touched it lightly. "He sighed, "I'm really not in the mood to go over it. When we get back you can get Komui to tell you, if you're that interested".

I didn't really reply, I focused my gaze on my hands, they weren't in the best state, but nothing compared to my back.

I was feeling a little faint again, my eyes drooped and I tipped sideways, falling onto Kanda. "Hey!" He protested but lifted his arm to grab my hand, feeling that it was ice cold. "Hey? Don't you even think about dying on my shoulder!" I grumbled but couldn't really reply.

"I just need to close my eyes for a bit", I murmured and heard him 'che' again, but I felt him move me down so I wasn't leaning against his shoulder but on his lap. I smiled a little and managed a chuckle. "I knew it, you're really just a big softie underneath all that aren't you?"

He gave me a louder 'che' this time and bumped my forehead. "Oh, I thought you were dying? In that case get up and start helping me". I chuckled again but finally settled down, "Yeah, yeah. I'm shutting up now". It was probably just me, but I swear I saw him smile before I closed my eyes.

I was floating. And it was dark, swirling around me and trying to corrupt me. But this floating, it wasn't very comfortable; I could spikes of pain across my back and my body felt heavy and distressed. My eyes opened a crack and saw a the faint light of a lamp bobbing in the near distance carried in the hand of a hooded figure, masked in black.

Then I came to realize I wasn't walking, I was being carried on the back of someone. I moaned quietly and I heard a grunt. "Don't move around", a deep voice murmured and tightened their grip under my legs, holding me up. "Mm", I managed before I slipped back under.

I took a deep breath and stretched my fingers, letting my eyes flutter open. A dark stony roof high above me, a plain roof and starch white bed sheets. Medical equipment stacked beside the bed and a little tube attached to my hand. I sighed and sat up with a groan and reached for my back. I felt soft bandages wrapped across it. I was a little dizzy but mostly alive, my wound wasn't hurting too much.

Just a slight burning feeling. There was a mirror hanging up on the wall and I cringed at my appearance. 'Worse for wear' didn't even begin to describe me. My skin was sallow and my eyes a dull green, I looked thin and fragile while my long hair hung in lifeless tangles. My reflection gave a tired smile and swung its legs over the side of the bed, reaching out to hold the wall for support when it stood up.

I was dressed in thin white cotton pants and a matching white blouse. I picked up a black coat lying beside my bed, not one of the exorcist's ones, and shrugged it over my shoulders with a cough. I wandered through the halls, it was mostly silent but I could hear noise coming from below me, the dining room.

It must be morning; I thought and came to the large circular hole running through the Order, defining the different levels. I could see the door to my room on my far left but ignored it, heading downstairs.

There were a fair few people in the room, seated at the long tables, the air full of chatter and occasional laughter. I smiled, it really had become home to me. Across the room was a head of recognizable white hair standing beside and talking to a taller head of red hair flaunting a green and black bandanna. I stumbled towards them, pulling the coat tighter over my shoulders; it was really cold in here.

Lavi turned around with his plate of food and dropped it in surprise. His eyes widened at the sight of me staggering towards him. "Rin!" He cried and stepped around his dropped food, running to my side before I tripped. "What the hell are you doing down here? You should be up in the infirmary!" His eyes were filled with concern and he wrapped an arm around my waist, holding me up.

Allen had gone after him but managed not to drop his huge stack of food, he placed it down on the nearest table and ran over to us. He frowned at me, "We hadn't been told you woke up… No one knows you left do they?" He wasn't happy, that was clear. I looked down sheepishly, "No…" He sighed and tapped my head.

"Don't be stupid Rin. You need to rest, you got really hurt". My shoulders slumped but I mumbled a 'sorry'. "Come on, let's get you to Komui", Lavi said cheerily and carefully helped me walk along, avoiding my injury.

I gratefully took a seat up on Komui's surgery table, the metal nice and cool against my skin. Lavi and Allen had taken seats on stools up against the wall in front of me. Komui had gone 'big concerned brother' on me when they brought me into his office and ushered us down into the science department.

"I can see you being our fiery, reckless exorcist from now on", he said with a chuckle as he carefully removed my bandages. "Is that so bad?" I said huffily and he laughed again. "Not really, it's just a pain if you always come back injured, get it?" I cringed along with Allen at his bad joke and rolled my eyes.

"Hmm", he murmured at he examined my back. "Well this is interesting", he had gone into serious mode when my back was exposed and I frowned. "What?" Allen and Lavi had walked around to see and had gasped. "What is it?" I demanded angrily. "Well, its your tattoos", Komui said slowly, unsure of how to explain. "Gross and bloody right?" I assumed with a sigh.

"No… They aren't black anymore, they're crimson red now… like blood". I twisted around in surprise, ignoring the slight burn I got in return. "So, what does that mean?" His brow furrowed with thought, "I'm not sure… it should be interesting though". I grimaced as he put on fresh bandages, "You sound like some creepy professor when you say that". He laughed again, "In some cases I guess I am".

I hopped down off the table and groaned, reaching for Lavi's arm, "All the walking did a toll on me", I grumbled knowing what would come next. Komui raised an eyebrow pointed towards the door. "Infirmary?" I asked glumly and he nodded. "How'd I know", I sighed and let Lavi help me out.

I lay down in my back and Lavi and Allen gave me a wave before departing, most likely going back to get lunch since I interrupted earlier. I stared up at the roof and thought about all the things that had happened. "I'd have never guessed this is where I'd end up", I murmured with a smile. I used to see my life only on the streets; one day most likely ending up dead in the gutter, but it was different now.

"I have a future". The idea lifted my heart sky high and filled my soul with joy. My thoughts turned to my fail of a mission and I frowned, what had happened to Kanda? He had carried me back and should've been in the infirmary too but he wasn't.

_Did he go on another mission already? That stupid idiot, he was hurt too! Trying to act like some big hot shot, ridiculous…_ I closed my eyes and rolled onto my side, settling down to fall asleep. _But… he still helped me_; I thought and smiled before falling asleep.


	6. Mysteries

_Flashes of long flaming hair, eyes like the devil. The man towered over me, his overwhelming presence pulsating wildly, causing my head to pound. The wind blew my own hair, the same shade of crimson as his, and bit painfully into my face. His eyes met mine, the only thing visible in the shadows covering his face._

"_Don't forget who you are, what you've learned and what you've done." His voice boomed out, pushing his authority onto me._

"_I don't know! I've never been anybody, I never-"_

"_Never believe the fabricated memories…" His voice whispered and his image disappeared into the fog leaving me alone again. My scream of despair cut through the night.

* * *

_

My eyes wrenched open, my face covered with sheen of sweat, panting with all my sheets tangled. I gasped and reached for the chair beside my bed, I missed and crashed to the floor in a mess, my hair all over the place.

"W-What was that?" I whispered the question to myself and with shaky hands got unsteadily to my feet.

"These dreams… they keep coming… I just wish I knew what they meant…" I mumbled and quickly pulled on my uniform, buttoning it up hastily.

The images of the man, his flame red hair still fresh in my mind, taunted me as I left my room. I could hear whispers, coming from every direction and froze near the stairs, my eyes darting around. I reached back and touched where my winged tattoos were, the connection reassured me and calmed me down.

As I started down the stairs a fiery pain sliced through my back, burning away at me with no mercy. I cried out and crumpled on the stairs, clutching at my back, panting heavily. It seared, fogging my mind as once again flashes of that red hair appeared in my mind.

The sound of laughter grew close then, coming from below me and I just barely focused enough to hear the footsteps coming up the stairs. Lavi turned the corner with a grumpy looking Kanda and they froze when they saw me leaning against the wall.

"Erin! Rin!" Lavi exclaimed and clambered up the stairs to bend down beside me.

"Hey, what's going on? Are you alright?" He demanded but I couldn't find the strength to answer him.

"Her marks…" Kanda murmured coming up to lean down, staring at my back.

Through my uniform glowing red patterns, my tattoos were showing and throbbing silently. He reached out and let his pale hand pass through causing another stab, sharper than before, to pass through me. I screamed and he yanked his hand back quickly.

I couldn't see either of their faces properly, the images from my dream were replaying in front of me, the pain they caused pushing down on my skull. Somewhere near me I heard Kanda speak, his voice serious but almost… concerned?

"Lavi, get to Komui now, tell him what's going on, I'll try and get her to his surgery room."

I heard clacking of feet rushing back down the stairs and a cool hand gently touched my wrist. Kanda's face moved close as he maneuvered around me, trying not to touch my tattoos. I felt his cold breath on my face as he moved to my ear.

"I'm going to move you now." He said quietly and I made no noise as pain flared when he lifted me.

He moved down the stairs swiftly and through the halls even quicker but kept jerky movement as little as possible so I got the least amount of pain. It didn't really make sense, not that I could understand anything right now, I mean Kanda wasn't nice to anyone, why would he be helping me now?

_"I guess we aren't on the battlefield; this pain isn't something I got out there so he has no reason not to help me?"_ I thought.

Thinking hurt too much, I let my mind wander and slowly felt the blackness of unconsciousness starting to take over. My eyelids drooped and I heard an urgent voice snap out.

"Don't go to sleep, I promise you can soon, just not now. Keep your eyes open."

"Ok…" I whispered and forced myself to stay awake.

It was very nearly unbearable, death's sweet melodic call tempted me so. I needed to move to her, allow her to embrace me with cold callous arms and allow her icy breath to tickle my skin and slowly pull me down with her into the black waters that have no reflection in the moonlight.

And I tell you, I nearly did allow it to overcome me but Kanda and his always-observant eye saw me drifting off and shook me gently, wrenching me away and back to the land of the living.

'We're here." He said with a slight angry undertone.

He carefully laid me down on the icy cold surgery table in the center of the room and I gasped softly as pain shot out. His hands darted forward, like they wished they could do something, but then retreated when common sense had returned, he seemed to realize he couldn't take away the pain as simply as touching me.

I let out a breath, one I realized I'd been holding for a while, and everything started to go fuzzy around the edges. Kanda, him leaning over me, his dark hair framing his handsome face with unreadable eyes, he started to fade, I could barely see him or the starch white ceiling above him anymore.

"I'm going go to sleep now, night." I murmured and my eyes began to close.

Somewhere, I was too lost to know where specifically, his voice called out to me. "Stay awake, stay awake dammit" is said with a mix of panic, anger and concern. Oh how I regretted not being able to answer to such a lovely voice, but the black fog of unconsciousness engulfed me.

* * *

I was floating. Floating in cool body of water, bobbing along the surface going who knows where. I felt hints of pain every now and then and decided that I was slipping in and out of consciousness. Faintly from high above in the clouds I could hear urgent voices discussing something and focused in on them.

"-And you're sure she'll be alright now?" A doubtful voice asked.

"Yes, yes Komui I already said it a thousand times, she'll be fine! Now, do you have any liquor?"

"What? No! Besides you can't blame me for not trusting your word despite your status, you've been gone and had no intention of ever coming back. Why now? And what connection do you have to Rin-chan?"

There was a gruff clearing of a throat. "We can get into that later, she's coming around."

* * *

My eyes fluttered open and slowly everything came into focus. I was laying in a bed in the infirmary, soft sheets over me. Allen, his noticeable white hair spiking out in unusually disorderly manner, was seated beside me with Lenalee, their anxious eyes trained on me. Lavi was standing behind them, his face alight from my awakening.

How long had it been? It didn't feel like I was out for too long this time, though Komui considered even a few hours serious. A sudden movement caught my eye and I glanced over to the far wall where Kanda was standing, almost completely obscured by the shadows.

"Rin-chan?" Komui asked and I tore my eyes away from the brooding swordsman to look up at the chief. He bent down to get a good look at me.

"How are you feeling?" He asked and his eyes flicked between the medical equipment and I, trying to get an answer out of both of us.

I opened my mouth but couldn't find the words, they just wouldn't form. I blinked once and tried again but still the same result.

"The pain would be numbed quite a bit, barely noticeable now, but she won't be able to talk just yet." A gruff voice cut in and my eyes flitted over to widen with shock at who was standing at the end of the bed.

That fiery hair and dark eyes… the man from my dream.

Allen saw my change in expression and exchanged a look with Lenalee, glancing back and forth between the man and I.

"Master?" He said in confusion and I turned my shock to him.

Had he really just called the devilish man who was haunting my dreams master? I pushed myself up into a sitting position and glared at the flame haired man who walked forward until he was at the foot of the bed.

He chuckled; the sound was deep and resonating. "Ah, well I suppose you wouldn't remember me, but my Erin, you've grown into a splendid woman, in all the right places."

My mouth flopped open and I gaped at the man in horror.

"Master!" Allen cried in dismay and glared at the grinning man.

"What? Allen you're still a child, you wouldn't understand the purity of a well-developed wom-" He was cut off by both Lavi and Allen throwing whatever they could find at him.

Lenalee looked back at me with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry about that Rin-san, he's a General of the Black Order, Marian Cross.

_Marian Cross._ The name echoed through my mind, it felt familiar but distant.

I frowned, something I remembered from the dream that he had said, something about "fabricated memories".

"_There's something going on here, I don't like it."_ I thought quietly and listened to Komui's instructions to get some rest silently.


	7. Lies

I gazed up at the ceiling with blank eyes. My entire boy and mind ached; I was exhausted beyond belief and couldn't summon the energy to lift my head up when I heard soft tapping as someone entered my infirmary room. The flame haired man named Cross strode in and took a seat beside me, looking down at me with dark eyes.

"You've really grown up." He murmured to himself and I stared at him, his words catching my attention.

I took a deep breath and sat up quickly, trying to ignore the slice of pain from moving too much. I gave the man a hard but honest look. "Sir, to tell you the truth, I don't even know who you are, but you seem to know who I am. Why is that? And don't think about lying to me."

He chucked, the sound reminded me slightly of a growling bear. "Ah, I suppose I owe you, a fine young lady, an explanation don't I?"

I scrunched up my face. "I'm no lady, but yes you do owe me some answers."

He sighed and leaned forward, looking at me with those eyes, bottomless pools of mystery.

"You're correct, I do know you, quite well actually. You were born with those beautiful markings on your back, I found you on the streets when you were only about six months old and you had them. I could tell you were something interesting so, behind the watchful eye of the Order, I took you in and I suppose you could say I trained you."

The news startled me, this man, scary and mysterious had actually cared for me? From I what I had heard about Allen's master, though he hadn't been named at the time, was that he was a nasty lady-loving bastard who spent ridiculous amounts of money on alcohol. Was that person really the man seated in front of me?

"But… I don't remember meeting you, I've always lived on the streets."

At this his eyes, gentle before, turned as hard as two jagged balls of coal, black as a raven's wings.

"That." He said in a cold voice. "Is because they stole your memories from you."

My brow furrowed, stole my memories from me? That didn't make sense.

"I don't understand…" I hated to admit it, but he'd lost me.

His eyes watched the floor. "They literally extracted your memories of your time with me and sealed them away."

My eyes widened. "As that even possible?"

"Apparently so…"

My body was numb, I couldn't comprehend what he was telling me, it just wasn't going through to my brain. Was he speaking the truth? Was everything here at the Order I'd come to love so much all been a lie, an allusion? Komui… Lavi… Allen… even Kanda, they had all been lying to me this whole time?

Everything… just a foolish dream I'd let myself fall into. My bottom lip trembled; I looked down at my pale arms. I felt sickly and weak. I hated it so much. A broken smile forced itself onto my lips and I chuckled to myself.

"I should have known, I really am better off on my own."

He glanced up and looked at me as I threw the sheets to the side and jumped to my feet, stumbling slightly but managing not to fall.

"Wha- Where are you-?" He started.

I didn't wait for him to finish, I took off, my feet slapping against the cold bleak stone. I pushed myself harder and harder, to the very limit, trying to leave everything behind me. But it came as I neared the entrance of the Order, my body was faltering. It couldn't handle this while I was injured. I couldn't care less. I couldn't care about anything. It never even meant anything.

I panted heavily and reached up and pushed against the panel that open the huge door. In the distance I heard a bell go off, signaling the unlocking and I grimaced. So much for an inconspicuous escape. As soon as there was enough space I bent down, ignoring the pain in my back and dashed out into the icy night air.

* * *

I was stiff and in pain, curled up at the bottom of the tree, my feet red and blistered from the running. I felt numb all over; I couldn't focus my eyes and kept slipping in and out of consciousness. I didn't just feel broken on the outside; I was broken on the inside as well.

I felt betrayed, lost with nowhere to go. I didn't have a home. I didn't have a family. I had no one I could go to. I bit my lip and felt the tears well up in my eyes and I sniffed. This was the exact reason I never trusted anyone before, I'd grown up street wise, I knew better than that.

But I'd made the biggest mistake, I let myself believe, I let myself hope and dream about something that could never be true. And, I should have known better, I should have realized it was all a lie, a rouse. Why would anyone want to be kind to me? I'm a filthy mooching street rat after all.

"And they betrayed me all." I whispered and let a few tears slid down my freezing skin, leaving wet trails behind, evidence.

Where would I go now? Back to London? I wasn't even sure where I as now, somewhere in Europe but my exact location was a mystery to me. There was a town nearby; I could find some food there. My stomach growled in agreement and I crawled onto my knees. My back protested angrily and I gasped for air, collapsing back onto the ground.

"No! Dammit!" I hissed and grabbed onto the tree, hauling myself to my feet and staggered forward.

It didn't work, I lurched and fell back to the cold dirty ground, my white infirmary clothing muddy and smelly now. I didn't get up this time; I curled up on the ground and sighed. It was no use; I was going to die here, all alone in the forest. There was no more hope, there was never any in the first place.

I was a fool to think that I ever had any hope of happiness in my life; fate had chosen me to be one of the unfortunate ones. I couldn't change that even if I wanted too.

"I don't even care anymore…" My thought whispered and I let my eyes droop, letting the darkness cloud my vision.

* * *

Lights burst out and my eyes flicked open, blinded. A figure moved forward, blocking out the lights, leaving me dazed and bent down, a head leaning in to look at me.

"She's alive." They murmured and I fully came around, examining the expressionless face of Lavi. He said nothing but reached down to lift me up in his arms.

I slapped his hands away, my breathing growing heavy as everything came back to me.

"D-Don't touch me! Don't you ever come close to me!" My teeth chattered and I was shaking violently from the cold. I couldn't feel anything, not even my fingers.

He hesitated and a hurt look crossed his face.

"Erin…?" He said softly and I glared at him with all the ferocity I could muster.

"You all lied, you all betrayed me, don't you even think about touching me, just leave me here to die already! I hate you!" I yelled at him and his hands darted forward, holding me down.

I thrashed and fought against his hold but I was too weak to make much of an effort.

My struggles died down and stopped all together. I stared up at his clear green eyes, the same as mine.

"Don't ever say that, we would never betray you. You're just as much a part of my family as the old man is, I could never hurt you like that. I know Allen and even Yuu feel the same way. Just please." I listened to his desperate plea and I nodded once.

"I just… I just want place to go home too…"

He smiled softly and pulled me into his arms, squeezing me tightly. "You will always have a home here, don't you forget that you silly girl."

As gently as he could, he pulled me up from the ground and cradled me against his chest. I clutched at his body warmth. I ached for it. I hadn't even realized how freezing I was. Cold spread through me, I gasped and grasped at his shirt feebly. His eyes met mine and he gave me an alarmed look.

"Rin-chan? Rin? Are you ok?"

"C-Can't feel my legs. Too cold." I stuttered and his eyes widened.

"That definitely isn't good." He murmured to himself and started moving faster through the trees. He supported me with one arm and reached down into his pocked, pulling out a miniature hammer, his innocence.

"Hold on." He instructed me but I was too much of a haze to really hear him.

I did manage to pick up one thing as we flew upwards through the air. A low almost strangled chuckle.

"You really seem to get yourself into life-threatening situations don't you?"

I couldn't deny that he spoke the truth as I drifted off.


	8. Newly Lit Fire

_My eyes flicked back and forth, staring at the faces staring down at me, their faces hidden in shadows. I thrashed desperately against the cold steel shackles on my wrists and ankles, chaining me to a table. My heart raced, thumping loudly in my chest and I started to hyperventilate, panic taking over._

_"Please, please. Let me go back to him." I whimpered and there was a mumble from the group of people. They seemed to be ignoring everything I said, not that I say saying much to begin with._

_"Why? Why are you doing this? I don't have what you want, let me go!" I pleaded and a rough hand clamped over my mouth, holding a soft sheet of material soaked in a brownish liquid._

_The drowsiness started to take over. I blinked up at them, disorientated, and realized that they had drugged me._

_"Why…?" I whispered and my eyes closed._

* * *

My eyes snapped open and I sat up, sweating and my heart racing. My sudden movement ripped an assortment of tubes from a machine beside the bed I was laying in, and I looked around the room in confusion.

"Of course." I muttered as I recognized my familiar infirmary room, the dull stonewalls even more unattractive than before. My dream stayed in the front of my mind, images of a younger me restrained in a laboratory with strangers. I shivered and shakily put a hand to my forehead, I was burning up.

"That's just wonderful." I grumbled and moved to stand up, not feeling any pain, actually not feeling much at all. I felt sort of numb all over. Remembering my breaking down and shriek fest in the woods last night with Lavi I grimaced, hesitating at the idea of getting out of bed.

"If he caught me stumbling around he actually would finish the job and kill me." I thought grimly and contemplated the idea of death by hammer.

What had he said last night, to be perfectly honest I couldn't be sure if it was last night- how long I'd been out this time? _"You really seem to get yourself into life-threatening situations don't you?"_ That's what he had said to me, he was right, even more so lately I had been going over-the-top with my recklessness.

I am a reckless person by nature, but I'm normally not this bad, something was up with me. The uncertainty, everything had managed to get to me. The arrival of Cross and his revealing of my unknown past had shaken me up also, there is so much I didn't understand. My eyes snapped up, a fierce fire burning in them and my heart. It was more than just my confusion; I was looking in the face of the bigger picture.

Cross, he had said that people from the Order had captured me and stolen my memories. That meant there was something going on within the Order, a conspiracy, secrets and lies. And it all had something to do with me, just my luck.

I frowned and carefully got to my feet, steadying myself and walking to the doorway, looking out to see that I was most definitely alone. There was definitely something going on, they want me for some reason and that can't be good. But I'm not just going to sit here and allow myself to be controlled and exploited by a bunch of corrupt bastards. A smile slid onto my lips, I felt like crying.

"I've found my fire." I whispered.

It was that feeling I had been lacking, that burning passion that had always run through my blood, the reason I fought and the reason I managed to survive the terrible life I had lived. I grinned and suddenly I didn't feel cold anymore, I felt indestructible.

Snatching up my uniform I threw the jacket, shirt and skirt on, buckling up my boots and dashing out into the hall.

* * *

I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I loped through the Order, heading for Komui's office. The idea of bumping into a raging Lavi didn't even pass my mind, should it happen I'd probably just run off laughing. I peeked into the trashed office; papers were strewed across every available surface. Pretty normal.

"Komui?" I called and there was no answer.

I shrugged and walked into the office, trying not to step on too many papers, since missing all of them was absolutely impossible. There was a rustle and a hand shot out from underneath a large pile of documents. I cried out and stared as the pile of paper rose up. Komui's face peered out from underneath a sheet and he started to tear up at the sight of me.

"Oh Rin-chan! You've come to save me from the work mean Reever is making me do~!" He sobbed and clung to my leg. I tried to shake him off desperately.

"Um, no. I'm here to see if you have a mission for me."

This caught his attention and his attentive eyes looked into mine as he stood up, brushing the mess from his desk, taking a seat in his chair.

"You're supposed to be in the infirmary." He said sternly.

I sighed impatiently and walked forward, placing my hands on his desk. "Yes, but I'm up and walking so I don't plan to spend another second there. Now any missions?"

He sipped his coffee but didn't look at me.

"I'm not giving you any missions for the time being."

I glared, shocked and angered by the news. "What? Why not?"

"Recent events had shown me that we let you out into the field much too early. You can stay here and practice with your innocence, it's too unruly right now."

I couldn't believe him. He wasn't being fair.

"Fine."

I turned on my heel and stormed out the room, causing an uplift of papers as I passed them.

* * *

I glowered at the grey stonewall of the round training room across from me and grumbled.

"Stupid Komui, stupid Order, stupid innocence."

I was in a foul mood now and felt an urge to punch something. Hard.

"Practice with your innocence…" I thought and exhaled sharply, rising to my feet.

I closed my eyes, shutting out all noise and focusing all my energy to my back.

"Innocence, activate." I whispered and a burning explosion erupted.

I felt the burn and tried not to twitch as two large shapes unfurled from my back, whiter than the clouds in the sky outside. I took a deep breath, calming myself down and opened my eyes. On either side of me, huge feathery wings hovered around me protectively, beautiful and destructive.

I smiled affectionately at them and reached out to stroke the soft white, a shiver passing through me. They felt so familiar, so caring, so much like… a family.

I knew my body wasn't in peak condition right now, and flying put a lot of strain on me, but I needed to do it. I needed to be off the ground, to be floating. It was the best feeling in the entire world, indescribable, ultimate bliss.

I concentrated on my wings, letting their feeling flood into me and gently pushed up from the ground. The wings flapped, the floor below me getting further away as I climbed higher up to the roof. A giggle of delight escaped from my mouth and I let myself drop, falling down towards the ground before I pulled up and sailed along, inches from the stones and grinned.

It was better than heaven, better than paradise. Better than everything, nothing could ever come close.

My heart thumped happily in my chest, nothing could ruin this. Nothing in the world.

* * *

Despite my jovial mood earlier in the day, I now found myself falling back into my state of petulance. It was obvious that I was sulking; I mean I had a liable reason too, and I made sure to direct my temper towards Komui. Though at one point I did feel a little guilty, it wasn't entirely his fault.

He being the chief of the Head Quarters, he had to make sure the exorcists were in top condition, I didn't exactly fit that category at the moment.

My flying session prior to having a light dinner downstairs had left me feeling drained and irritable and I ended up snapping at poor Jerry. I made sure to apologize later. Now, holding this crumpled piece of paper in my hand and heading back towards Komui's office for the second time today, didn't help improve my mood in the slightest.

"What did you want me for?" I was suspicious of the hesitant look on Komui's face, he was holding back, I could tell.

"Well". He cleared his throat and avoided making eye contact with me, carefully studying a sheet on his desk.

"There's been a mission assigned for you."

My eyes snapped up with glint interest in them. I leaned forward to take the sheet of paper, observing it. Scanned over the writing, taking everything in quickly. I blinked once and read a sentence again.

"I'm being sent to Australia?" I questioned and Komui nodded happily.

"Lately there has been a noticeable build up of Akuma in the Northern Territory, most of the activity has been centered around Uluru but there have been cases of them being spotted in the outskirts of Alice Springs. From their large numbers we assume the abnormal sand storms in the area are being caused by Innocence."

I frowned, I didn't know much about Australia, let alone the rest of the world and hadn't actually heard of this 'Uluru' Komui was talking about.

"Um." I tried my best not to look ignorant. "I'm sorry, but what is an 'Uluru'?"

This question startled him and he choked on his coffee. He wiped his mouth and looked at me seriously for a moment before realization flooded his expression.

"Oh that's right, you've lived on the streets." He muttered to himself then plastered a gentle smile back on his lips.

"Uluru is a large rock formation in the center of Australia, it's rather magnificent besides doing your job as an exorcist you'll get an educated lesson on Geography."

I raised an eyebrow at his giddiness and rolled my eyes.

As I walked to the door he again called out for me to wait, when I turned his face was stern and his eyes hard.

"Though I probably shouldn't be telling you this, this mission was specifically given to you by those in the upper rings of the Order."

I twitched but didn't answer.

The upper rings… the people that Cross had warned me about before he had disappeared again, well I assume he had disappeared, I hadn't seen him again since I'd run from the infirmary and from what Allen had said he wasn't the kind of person who stuck around for more than 12 hours.

"Just be careful." He said and I nodded once before leaving.

As I sat alone in the boat heading out of the Order, my thoughts started to stir into uneasy waters. What was the Order planning for me, and how would this mission play a part in their game?


	9. A Desperate Situation

**A/N: Ok I realize that since -Man is set in the nineteenth century, Australia wouldn't be the Australia it is today (By the way I live here in Down Under, but not in the outback.) and Alice Springs wouldn't be like this, but I'm ignoring that fact. Enjoy~!**

* * *

I stared with tired eyes out of the rolling dusty red plains, almost completely bare of vegetation besides the occasional tree or bush. How anyone could ever live out here was a mystery to me but I guess in some ways Australia had its charms.

I didn't know a lot about the world, something I wished wasn't true. Growing up in the dirty alleyways of East London hadn't exactly given me the opportunity to see a map of the world or read many books.

Though, being the cunning and fantastically sneaky person I am, I had managed to get a vague idea about our world. I won't mention how I got an idea; it may tarnish the slightly respectable image I had been given as an Exorcist, something I wasn't going to give up easily.

My boots crunched as I walked on the rocky ground, plumes of dust being kicked up with every coming step. Getting here had been a long tiring journey but my adrenaline had picked up once I got out of the closest town, Alice Springs and could freely fly across the plains without fear of being seen.

But as usual, I had to drop back down to walking after a 20-minute fly, it tuckered me out completely and I felt the urge to sleep.

I kept my mind busy though, letting thoughts flit through my brain. The fact that I had been given a mission wasn't surprising; I had been given a clean bill of health- in my mind- and had demanded Komui to get me one. He succeeded and gave me the one that brought me here.

What _was_ surprising was that I came alone. For smaller, less significant missions it was normal for only one exorcist to go. But I knew from the summary of what was going on around Uluru there had major masses of Akuma spotted.

Why would they send me, just one less-experienced exorcist to deal with it? What was it that he had said after I had been about to leave?

"_Though I probably shouldn't be telling you this, this mission was specifically given to you by those in the upper rings of the Order."_

Those were his words, a concerned expression on his face to go with them. Was there something wrong here, something I wasn't supposed to know about? Cross, he had warned me about the upper rings before he'd disappeared but I hadn't taken notice of his words at the time.

I shoved the thoughts away; this was no time to doubt my superiors. Besides, what did I have if I lost the Black Order? Nothing. There was nothing out there for me, they were all I had and they knew it. Far off in the distance there was the illustrious Uluru, or at least what I what I thought was it. It was hard to tell, it still being a tiny dot on the horizon.

I exhaled sharply tried not to let my lack of sleep get the better of me. I still had a long way to go.

* * *

Slyly, I peeked up over the rock and ducked back down when a metal, robotic looking machine passed overhead. My heart was pounding at double time in my chest, for a good reason too. I mean had everyone in the Order gone insane?

There were at least three dozen Akuma flying about around Uluru, a majority of them only level one but where a huge cave entrance that had been, what I supposed at least, drilled into the side of the giant rock were about five level two and a couple more level three guarding it.

There was something big going on here, much bigger than the Order had thought. More than one piece of innocence would be the only thing to draw so many Akuma here.

"And if they notice me I'll be dead in seconds." I whimpered quietly and pulled my feet to my chest where I was seated behind a large boulder, a tree casting it shade over me so I could escape the extreme heat slightly.

Surprisingly I wasn't that flustered though, the uniform regulated temperature, it needed too considering all the crazy places with their own extreme weather we went too in this profession.

What on earth was I going to do? I mean I'm not some super-awesome exorcist like Kanda; I barely understand my innocence and can't do very much with it. How was I going to defeat all those Akuma? Then would I even have the guts to go into the darkness of that cave mouth? Something told me I shouldn't, that I'd be killed by an enemy of the Order if I did. The Millennium Earl? No, he couldn't be here.

"Suck it up Rin, you're going in there and you're going to show everyone you aren't a little girl. You're strong and you can take care of yourself, you have been all your life anyway." I reassured myself but a little doubt leaked in.

Then I remembered. Cross, he had given me his golem that Allen had been using before he left, Timcanpy.

"Tim? Tim?" I muttered and reached into my pockets and from my half unzipped jacket a ball of yellow zoomed out and slammed into me, biting my cheek.

I yelped and clamped a hand over my mouth, pulling the small unusual yellow golem off my face.

"That hurt…" I chastised and examined his yellow surface searching for a way to get a connection with another golem.

_Any_ would be fine, just as long as I could explain to an exorcist the situation and get some people here to help me. Though I'd like to believe it, there was no way I'd be able to pull this off. I doubt that even Kanda could defeat all of them.

There was a quiet static sound from Timcanpy and I brought him close to my face, my eyes attentive.

"Hello?" I called into it, trying not to be heard by the Akuma but loud enough that whoever was on the other side would hear me.

"-Hello-?" A smooth voice broke through the static and I grinned at the golem.

"Yes, this is Rin, I'm an exorcist currently based at the European Headquarters, and I'm on a mission in Australia and desperately need backup!"

I explained quickly my voice raising an octave as I watched an Akuma draw closer. There wouldn't be much more of this, I couldn't hide forever. Soon enough they were bound to notice the innocence in my back and see me. Then it would all be over.

"-Ah I see. I'll contact the Australasia Headquarters as soon as I can. Out."

The voice cut off and there I was again left with static. I glowered at the golem, a lot of help that had been. Who knows how long _'as soon as possible'_ would be. I would be long dead by the time anyone got here and it would be entirely that guy's fault. I grumbled to myself and released the golem in frustration. He hovered in front of me, moving about quickly almost sort of anxiously.

"What is it Tim?" I asked him in confused and froze as I heard a sickly metal scraping noise directly behind me.

I bit my lip and peeked back.

It was there, a dull metal with a horrid twisted monstrous face. The Akuma stared at me with blank eyes and I kept completely still. It was only a level one; if I was lucky it wouldn't be too smart and would mistake me for something like a large rock.

It's head snapped back and a vivid green light started to grow from its mouth.

I should have known. I had the worst luck imaginable. It had already sensed my innocence and was prepared to destroy me. I was on my feet in seconds and took off, dashing in the opposite direction but unfortunately towards Uluru and the other Akuma, a death sentence.

"Aw crap." I moaned and took a deep breath.

I whispered the words _"innocence activate"_ and felt the burn as my wings unfurled with all the beauty of an angel. I pushed down on the rocky ground and shot up like a bullet, high above all the Akuma hovering close to the ground.

My wings flapped, holding me up and I grimaced as all the Akuma in the surrounding area, including the level three at the cave entrance. If the Akuma didn't kill me, the stress of being an exorcist would. I wasn't sure how much more of this I could handle; I was only one person after all. And this was on hell of a step up from fighting low time bandits in the East slums.

I steadied my breath as much as I could and closed my eyes, shutting everything off. It was a technique I had watched Kanda do while training back at Headquarters. You shut off all your senses and let the innocence take over, let it guide you. Hopefully it would do what I hoped and allow me to use my innocence to its full potential, unlock the possibilities when fighting.

My wings twitched and I dropped about half a meter before they caught me once more. They were still moving though and suddenly they felt much lighter than before. My eyes snapped open and I saw the two dozen long, wide feathers hanging around my wings, from where they had pulled off on their own accord, transform. They turned from soft white feathers to sleek shiny iron spears.

I grinned darkly at the Akuma below me.

_"I'll have to thank Kanda later."_ I made a mental note.

I allowed hands, that I hadn't noticed I had clenched into fists, open and the spears shot down, all perfectly locked onto an individual Akuma at an incredible speed. There were several thunderous blasts and smoke emitted, filling the air and causing me to splutter and close my eyes to stop the smoke's sting.

Slowly I lowered myself down, trying to maintain an idea of my surroundings and not choking on the thick black smoke. The smoke began to clear thanks to the strong wind that day and I stared in shock. I was alone. There was nothing but the barren landscape and me.

"I defeated them all in _one_ go…." I whispered in awe and blinked in shock and confusion at my wings, lingering in a close embrace around me to protect me from any unexpected attacks. My innocence, I really didn't know anything about it. It was obvious now that I had a lot of things to learn and powers to discover and utilize.

"Could this be what the Order wants from me? My innocence?" I wondered in a soft voice and touched the edge of my left wing affectionately.

I strode forward closer to the cave entrance, safe now with no Akuma guarding it. There had to be something pretty important in there if they had this many of those disgusting creatures watching it.

"_Or someone powerful and dangerous…" _My thoughts squeaked and I shook the thought away quickly. No need to scare myself.

I came to a stop at the edge where the darkness as black as raven's feathers cut into the darkness, swallowing every minuscule of light like a ravenous monster from the pits of hell. I didn't gulp, I didn't have a single though that considered turning around and waiting for back up.

I couldn't do that; it would be dishonouring my title as an exorcist. I had this job for a reason; god's divine rule had chosen to pull me from the slums, hell on earth to allow me to put my life to use. I wasn't about to cower away, I had faced everything else in my life head on, why not this?

I took a step into the darkness, feeling a cool chill slither through me but it didn't paralyze me. I kept walking, disappearing like a shadow in the dead of night.

* * *

**MAKE SURE TO REVIEW. I appreciate you guys giving me a response, it's part of what keeps me writing ^.^**


	10. No Hope

The darkness was cold; turning the huge tunnel I was walking through into a mass of shapeless nothing. It seemed never-ending and a chilly draft breezed against my bare legs and face and I suppressed the urge to shiver.

That wasn't the worse of it; I could feel something powerful somewhere at the end of the tunnel, wherever that was.

There would be something dangerous there for sure, I had no doubt about it but I was going to have to deal with the fear choked in my throat and face whatever was waiting for me at the end. I was an exorcist now, I couldn't handle the shame of running away.

I had been homeless and walking along the line between life and death for so many years, to run away would be a huge blow on my self-esteem. I halted and fixed my eyes on the only thing I could see in the darkness swirling around me, tempting me with cold caresses.

A faint green glow that seemed to be one hundred miles away in the distance, it seemed to flicker as if to tell me to come closer. It lit a small flame of warm and hope inside of me and a small grin slid across my lips.

I picked up my pace, stumbling to the side to place my hand against the jagged icy rock, feeling my way along, getting closer to the green light with each step.

* * *

The tunnel opened up into a large airy chamber, the ceilings high above me and only faintly visible with the limited glow that lit the huge hall.

I stood silently at the entrance, my hand still firmly grasping the wall and I gazed around me in amazement. Then my eyes drifted to the center of the room where a natural rock monument, twisting up and creating a cradle around a small green glowing ball emitting a pulsating light.

I stared with wide eyes for a minute before my brain processed it. There was innocence here, I suppose that was blatant; there had been plenty of Akuma around. But for those staggering numbers… It had to be something unusually strong. The heart maybe?

I frowned; I couldn't be sure until I obtained it and brought it back to the headquarters to be examined by Hevlaska.

A small movement causing a long shadow to be cast across the rocky wall grasped my attention and my eyes flicked to the tall, slim figure standing before the innocence.

From what I could see he was wearing a crisp black suit and a top hat, like he'd just stepped out of a high-class party in London. My eyes narrowed as I watched him, making sure to keep as quiet as I could. What on earth was a nobleman doing in a place like this?

I was gripping the wall so hard a slither of rock crumbled off and tumbled to the ground, barely making a noise but I stiffen and watched as the figure turned slowly, golden eyes full of deceit holding my gaze. It was silent, neither of us made a move we just appraised each other carefully.

Then the corners of his mouth pulled up revealing a perfectly in control white smile, a fake one. I could see now that his skin was an odd shade of gray and as he pulled of his top hat to sweep into a gentleman's bow I saw he had dark wavy hair slicked back and small cross stigma's across his forehead.

He wasn't normal, that was for sure but then what he was exactly was a mystery. From the way he stole glances back at the glowing innocence he had to know what it was and most likely saw me as a threat to him obtaining it.

"My dear, pleasure to meet out on this balmy Australian evening. What brings you here today?" His voice was silky and had a touch of sickly sweet kindness tacked to it. I didn't trust him, how could I with that derisive mug of his smiling at me, trying to intimidate me.

"Who are you...?" I asked him, suspicion rolling off my tongue as I eyed him.

He chuckled, a low smooth sound, and he took a few steps forward, gesturing casually in the air to wave the thought away.

"I'm no one really, just passing through…" He said nonchalantly but when he looked back at me his eyes turned hard and he paused, eyes locked on my clothes. I blinked as his almost serpent-like golden eyes scanned over me and a nasty sneer appeared.

"That uniform… You're part of the Black Order?" He asked, trying to sound as indifferent as possible but I knew he already knew my answer. When I stayed silent he took another small step forward, smoothing back his hair.

"An _exorcist _perhaps…?" The word came out like poison, detest written all over his speech.

Warily, I took a firm stance, bracing my hands by my sides, preparing to dodge anything that would come my way and gave him a goading look.

"So what if I am?" I challenged him.

He seemed amused by my attempt at bravery, and to be perfectly honest I had to side with him. I'd never say it out loud but I was deathly afraid, there was an aura of power and despise coming from him and it was aimed at me.

Did he have something again the Black Order? From the way he spoke it sounded like he specifically disliked exorcists like myself, which didn't put me in the best position.

He laughed quietly to himself like he was enjoying his own private joke as I glared at him, trying to keep my hands from visibly shaking.

Suddenly he stopped and his gold eyes frowned at me, like I was some pest. He moved forward in an instant, one moment he was back near the innocence then he was right in front of me, looming over me.

He had unsympathetic look on his face as he pulled out his hand and shot it through my chest before I could even react.

I cried out, expecting to feel unbelievable pain but in return he yelped and quickly yanked his hand back, letting me fall to the ground wheezing and anxiously feeling my chest expecting a huge gaping hole. There wasn't one, I was completely fine.

I looked up in shock, he was shaking his hand and cursing, like he had been burned.

He looked at me, annoyed and scrutinized me.

"Why'd it burn me?" He muttered to himself and I took advantage of his distraction to mumble the activation words.

That familiar rush of pain coursed through me as huge white wings unfurled and instinctively hovered around my body to protect me.

He blinked, truly surprised and scratched his head as he tired to work it all out.

"Little lady, those wings would be your innocence then? That _would_ explain it, I tried to go through her chest but that damned innocence is in your back, blocking my path…"

I ignored his chatter and pulled out one of my feathers, feeling it transform into one of my short and especially sharp iron spears. I didn't know exactly who this guy was but he tried to attack me and was obviously an enemy, an enemy I had to eliminate.

I whipped my arm across my body and hurled the spear at him with all the speed I could muster. It almost missed him, cutting a clean slice through the arm of his suit, catching his attention.

He glanced down to feel where the fabric had ripped and looked back at me, accusations burning in his eyes.

"I must commend you." He said calmly and as brushed his damaged suit off. "You've really managed to irritate me girl."

This time there was a true snarl in his voice. I had crossed the line. I kept my mouth drawn in a straight line and said nothing, pulling out another feather and taking a battle stance, I wasn't going down without a fight.

A faint smile was on his lips as he mumbled to himself.

"The Earl hasn't told us to start ridding the world of any of you exorcists yet, but what harm would come from starting a little early?"

I froze, my spear cutting into my palm from how tight I was holding it.

"_Did he just say The Earl?"_ My thoughts panicked; if he had something to do with the Earl then this was a problem on a much larger scale than I knew.

A small ball of dark shadows formed in his palm and as his hand rose to my eye-level I bent down and shot up like a bullet, air whistling past my ears.

I came to a stop, floating up near the ceiling, the wings huge and powerful flapping quietly to keep me a float. My heart was pounding at double time in my chest, my breathing hitched.

I was going to have to step carefully, I didn't know everything this guy was capable of but it seemed he was more serious about putting an end to my existence now, not a smart move on my part for provoking him.

It came at my at a hundred miles an hour, that small of writhing black substance that had been in his palm and hit my right thigh.

Burning, it felt as though it had hit and begun eating into my leg. I hissed but tried to ignore it, any lose of concentration and I'd be falling out of the sky and would be dead for sure with a fall like that.

"If that's how you want to play it…" I growled softly and allowed my eyes to close, the silence taking over.

_"I know I'm not that experienced yet, but please, I need your help if I'm going to get through this. We need to work together…"_ My thoughts whispered pleadingly to the innocence within me and there was a change in the air.

Slowly I let one of my eyes open, trusting that my powers had stayed true to me and had allowed them to be in affect.

But as I stared at the whirling winds around me, my throat caught on the cry of joy I had been about to make, I knew I had failed.

It had been presumptuous of me to think that with one little plead I'd be given access to all the potential my innocence had. It had only been a short while that I had been an exorcist, I had gotten to conceit from my glorious victory outside and thought this would be another win.

"You can still hear me, am I right?" That silky voice called out and some part of me noticed my wings had stopped and I had been lowered back down to ground level by this raging current of air blocking me off from everything else.

"You should be honoured girl, it's only when I get serious in a fight that I bring out my Refusal technique. I had hoped you'd put up more of a fight than _that_ though…"

I could barely concentrate on his words, my head was pounding and I felt dizzy. This wasn't just a blockage of air, it couldn't be.

"What you're in is a vacuum. I am able to reject the oxygen and air pressure around my foe. Right now you're suffocating and perhaps if you're unlucky the pressure will crush your body completely. A rather messy way to end in my opinion…"

I was dying? In my life I had imagined all the ways I'd probably die but this hadn't been one of them, this whole world of exorcists and Akuma had never fit into my image of what my life would be like. I couldn't say I regretted it though.

I had made so many friends and had finally been accepted into a place I could call home. That alone had finally given my life some meaning.

My eyelids drooped and instantaneously the vacuum around me dispersed and I crumbled on weak knees to the floor, my face lying on the dusty ground.

"Don't think so highly of me girlie, I want to finish a pest such as yourself off with my own hand. As painfully as possible."

The world around me was vague, with my head pounding I couldn't find the way to focus on anything; it was all too fuzzy for me. His hand grasped the front of my uniform and he hauled me up, holding me there, my feet still dragging on the ground.

"This will be a most fitting death for you girl, it's been a pleasure knowing you." He said the words quietly and sincerely, a gentleman to the end.

He held me up with one hand and with the other he reached back and brushed across my wings, taking a good hold of the left one.

The excruciating pain burned through me, a blood-curdling scream pierced through the night and it took me unfocused mind a moment to realize it was my own cry. I shrieked and thrashed in his grip, feeling warm salty tears run down my cheek as he took a tighter hold of my wings.

He bent down as I sobbed so that his lips caressed my ear.

"I didn't mention it to you sweetheart, but I have the gift of destroying any innocence I come in contact with. That's the power of the Noah... Since this innocence is bonded inside of you it must be unbearable..."

In reply I let out another scream as the pain heightened.

I was terrified, my wings, that comforting embrace I felt when they wrapped around me, that would be gone forever. I'd have no one else. I'd have to leave everyone behind and be the nothing I was before. I didn't want that… I didn't want to go back to that sorry existence.

Somewhere beside me I heard a loud grunt and the grip he had on me slipped and I roughly tumbled to the ground, lying motionless, the pain still scorching my back.

It was unclear to me, but I could hear muttering and the sound of steel slicing against something hard. The noises of battle.

Then it was replaced with a loud unamused chuckle.

"Girl, lady luck must be smiling down at you for now. I must make my departure back to my clan but we'll be seeing each other again very soon…"

Then the voice, still chuckling faded away and I heard quiet exchanging of words and footsteps.

A cool hand touched my arm and the fuzzy image of a young man's face in a hood with purple markings under his eyes blinked at me with concerned eyes. His face disappeared and I heard him speak to someone else.

"She's seriously injured, we need to get her to the Order immediately…" He explained to his partner and I heard a grunt in reply.

"Do you think there's a way to get her… well what's left of them… to retract?" He wondered quietly, there was no reply.

Some small part of me registered this and softly my thoughts whispered, _"Innocence… You've done enough, thank you. You can depart now…"_

I gritted me teeth as I drew my wings back in, leaving me dirty, broken and in pain.

"Uh… Let's go then, you take her…" The man said, a little bewildered.

A pair of cool but strong arms slid under my body and I was easily lifted up. It was strange; I had to be delusional but this hold… It felt so familiar…

I peeked up at the face of my second saviour but there was no energy in me left to feel surprised, so I simply remained watching him through glassy eyes.

His eyes, dark and mysterious glanced down and met mine.

"Why is it you always seem to be dangling between life and death and I always have to come help you?" Kanda asked me quietly, not really expecting an answer.

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**MAKE SURE TO REVIEW.** So sorry for not updating in so long! *facepalm* But review and tell me what you thought of it! :D


	11. The Asian HQ

I AM SO SORRY HOW LATE THIS IS. It was surprisingly hard to write... nothing ended up sounding right so I kept redoing it. But it's here now and pelase enojy and review to tell me what you though~

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_Fog. It covered the mountainous landscape like a beautiful blanket, shifting through the air lazily. Far off there was the melodic call of birds and the flap of wings, but other than that- silence._

"_Where am I?" I wondered indifferently, not too concerned for some reason._

_There was the sound of feet on wood and I glanced back, watching a tall male figure with long vibrant red hair hanging over his face walk along the outside of the beautiful old shrine I was sitting beside._

_I froze, thinking he'd yell at me, some strange girl on his property but he didn't seem to notice I was there at all. He came to a stop and slowly took a set beside a small thin girl, probably the age of five, with her thick crimson hair hanging loosely around her pale face._

_She peeked up at the man's somber face and grinned cheekily._

_ He chuckled, a low rumbling sound and I found myself smiling. He always laughed like that. My breathing caught in my throat and I frowned, why had I said that? I didn't know him or the child, why would I think something like that?_

_I repositioned myself and carefully observed the two; the man's face had turned almost… sad now._

"_I've never been fond of goodbyes…" He said, his deep voice surprisingly soothing to listen too._

_The young girl blinked in confusion and stared at him firmly, her emerald eyes strangely intuitive despite her age._

"_But we aren't saying goodbye, we'll be together, always. You promised!" Her musical voice insisted and she smiled at him._

_He patted her head softly, a gentle smile on his face hiding his poignant eyes. She reached for him, curling up in his laps and my hands curled into fists, it felt as though my heart was being wrenched apart._

_Why? Why did this scene feel so familiar and yet so new to me? Why did it touch me in such an emotional way? _

_The man's eyes snapped up and he looked out to the east, where the thick forest surrounding them started and he gripped the small girl tighter._

"_They're coming…" He murmured to himself._

_He pulled the crimson's haired girl back from his chest and wiped away her tears, his mouth a straight line._

"_I'll always be with you, no matter how desperate the situation seems." He told her quietly as she sniffled. "In here." He pressed his finger where her heart was and the image around me started to fade._

"_No!" My thoughts cried. I had to know what happened next._

"_Be brave… Rin…" Were the last words I heard coming from his rich voice before the darkness blacked everything out._

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My eyelids snapped open, I gasped and sat up in a rush, clawing at neck desperately trying to breath.

Green eyes flickered around and slowly I calmed as I saw I was in a small bed in a large airy room. I wasn't in the mountains… It had been a dream, nothing more.

My eyes widened as I recalled those last words.

The man, he had called that girl Rin…

As I scanned over the dream it became apparent to me, that girl had been me… It wasn't a dream…

"It was… a _memory_…" I breathed the word, so unfamiliar to me and suddenly I felt so cold all over. So empty. So alone.

I threw the sheets off me and stumbled to my feet, staggering across the room, a sob caught in my throat and my thoughts in hysterics. When I took the next step an agonizing whip of pain struck me and I screamed in shock, my knees giving way so I fell to the floor.

My back… it was burning… I was on fire. I was dying, I had to be. There was no other way to explain this kind of pain. I bawled from my place crumpled on the floor, why wasn't it over yet? Was god purposely torturing me like this? Did I deserve this?

Faintly, I registered someone yelling and I sobbed and tried to reach for my back, a cool hand grabbing my hand and pulling it away. Through my blurry eyes I saw an unsmiling face, framed by long black hair staring back at me.

"Oi… _Baka no Tenshi!_" He yelled at me. "Shut it and calm the _hell_ down!"

At the sound of his commanding voice my sobs quietened to a whimper and I managed to nod, breathing quickly. He sighed, sounding frustrated and tired and lifted me onto his back, and making sure he didn't come in contact with my back.

"We'll get her to the science division, this way." An unfamiliar voice called to us and I breathed heavily, my vision blurring in and out of focus.

I wouldn't say it aloud but… being near Kanda, he gave me a sense of safety. Like nothing could ever happen if he was nearby, protecting me.

I rethought that, why would I say something like that? I had to be delusional. He wasn't protecting me specifically; he was just doing his job as a fellow exorcist. Nothing more than that...

"Where… Where are we?" I whispered as I noticed my surroundings, while similar to home they were still different. Unknown faces we passed while we walked, a strange new place.

"The Asian branch of the Order." A voice explained and I glanced over to meet the eyes of the guy who had been with Kanda when I'd been attacked.

"I'm Daisya by the way, Daisya Barry!" He gave me a lopsided grin and I tried my best to smile back at him, he seemed friendly enough and from the way he and Kanda argued in that playful way they seemed to be old friends.

Not that Kanda ever said he had any friends, with that cold exterior of his he could scare even the meanest of people away. The idea that he had people close to him seemed like such a foreign concept.

A small shape bounded out in front of us and I blinked drowsily at his blonde hair and white beret on top of it.

"You've brought her then?" He asked and Daisya nodded. He beckoned us inside and we entered a surgery similar to Komui's.

I felt numb all over as Kanda put me down and I lay down on my stomach, the cool metal table like ice against my skin. I looked groggily at small, almost monkey-like man, flitting about the room, gathering up items.

When he returned to the table he bent down to give me a small smile, brushing the strands of fiery red off my face.

"My name is Bak Chang, I'm the head of the Asia Branch. It's a pleasure to meet you."

I blinked back at me and gave a slight nod to show that I heard him, his silver-blue eyes were unusual but strangely compelling. He stood up straight and started discussing with Kanda and Daisya. I felt myself starting to fade out again; the pain throbbing in my back was too much.

"…We can't ask her to activate it yet to see what the extent of the damage is yet, the strain would almost certainly kill her. For now she'll have to heal, I'll have Fou help her recuperate when she's ready."

There was a grunt and in my nearly unconscious state I smiled, picturing his put out expression, like he really didn't want to be here. That couldn't be true though? Could he really be so heartless as to not care even slightly about my condition?

I grimaced mentally, of course he could not care. He was the imfamous stone-hearted Kanda Yuu after all, he didn't care about anyone as far as I had seen. I felt a sting as the bandages criss-crossing over my back were removed and I heard a soft intake of breath, it must have been Daisya.

"…It's still the same then…" Kanda's deep voice said quietly and there was a weary sigh and I gasped as something cool touched my back.

"Sorry, this will hurt…" Bak apologized softly as he cleaned my back.

"From what I knew ever since you found her the detailed tattoos on her back have been bleeding. It isn't enough to put her life at threat but it certainly isn't a good sign, and we can't check her wings to see the wound."

He continued and as he carefully wrapped my back up again I bit my lip trying to ignore the pain as best I could.

I felt faint and tension hung in the air I tried as best as I could to carefully focus on their conversation. Some part of me was dying inside not knowing everything in my past that was shrouded in fog, blocking itself from me.

It was as though I was missing a piece of myself, but somehow, maybe from when Cross had spoken to me, I knew it had been forcefully taken from me. Links to my past and the secrets to my childhood with him ripped from me and locked away where I couldn't reach them.

I struggled to steady my breathing as a hot tear ran down my cheek, leaving a small wet trail across my pale skin. I felt sullied by them, they had used their corrupted hands and taken what was rightfully mine.

I gritted and hissed, catching Bak's attention and he peered at me as I sat up and gripped the cool metal table stiffly. He looked closely at my face and a small smile pulled up the corners of his lips.

"Do you have a resolution then Miss Exorcist?" He asked me and I shot him a look. He seemed to know exactly what was on my mind. I was in pain and out of action for now, but I was going to train and improve so I could come back with more bite than before.

I'd have to be sly about it though, I couldn't allow my actions to give the Order a warning about my intentions. I was going to get back what was rightfully mine, hopefully uncovering the secrets of my innocence along the way.

I glanced up, Kanda's piercing eyes staring into mine, his mouth pulled into a line and he appraised me. I returned with a defiant stare, challenging anything he had to say about what a weakling he thought I was, but instead something strange happened.

It may have been an amused smirk but it felt almost… friendly… unexpected coming from Kanda of all people.

"You're going to fight then?" His low voice carried across the short space between us and I nodded once, determination on my face.

The smirk was back.

"It seems you aren't such a worthless piece of trash after all." He turned and strode out of the room as I gawked at where he had been. That rude bastard.

But I suppose that would be his equivalent of a compliment… wouldn't it? I was puzzled but just a little bit happy on the inside and I tried my best not to smile giddily like a young child.

Daisya gave me an apologetic look and patted my knee, a genuine smile on his lips, and his dark eyes were like never-ending pools of silver.

"I'm sorry about him, Kanda isn't the most... subtle person in the world, to say the least." I'd learned that quickly after coming to the Order, Allen reminded me daily that he was a terrible person and should be called "Ba-Kanda" instead.

He stopped in the doorway and looked back at me, grinning.

"But he doesn't hate you, that's a pretty good start with him!"

As Daisya walked out I had a doubtful look on my face, I wasn't sure if he truly spoke the truth but he and Kanda seemed to know each other…

I winced as I slid off the bench, Bak's eyes watching me and not revealing anything as he stayed silent and I lurched forward. As I felt my knees buckle, weak and unable to handle my own weight as this point, a warm hand gripped my arm and stopped me from hitting the cold stone floor. The fog was clouding my mind again but I forced my way through the murky haze to see Bak's expressionless face staring down at me.

"You need to rest." He said softly and as the darkness swathed me again, I managed to hear his last words before blacking out.

"You have a hard road ahead of you… Erin…"

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MAKE SURE TO REVIEW. Your wonderful reviews are truly what pulls me through ^0^ (you guys who always review, I LOVE YOU.)

And the story is about to get a lot more exciting and fast paced from here, Rin finding out more about her past with Cross and extending it to her connection to Allen via Cross. Getting along... better(?) with Kanda and having exciting new developments with her innocence.


	12. Broken Wings

The roof was high above, mist sifting through the airy room; it's round walls a cool concrete. There wasn't a soul around, certainly not at this time so early in the morning. Judging from the exact silence that surrounded me when I walked, my footsteps barely even audible, it was definitely before five in the morning.

I gingerly took a seat against the wall on the south side of the room, the entrance clearly in my line of sight, and pulled my long auburn hair into a high ponytail using a white ribbon that I had found lying beside my hand a few weeks back. It served its purpose well and kept my heavy hair off my face in these circumstances.

I got to my feet, striding to the center of the room and taking my usual stance, legs shoulder-length apart and hands held firmly in front of my upper chest. Then, like a lightning bolt, my leg struck out, kicking high above my head and I twisted with it to bring my other leg up to swing around.

By this point I found it relatively easy to ignore the numbed pain in my back, I had been here at the Asian Headquarters of the Black Order for three weeks now and while getting up this early wasn't normal for me, I did train everyday- usually with Fou, the guardian deity.

I suppose we had formed some what of a close relationship during this time, she didn't yell at me very often now so that had to be a good thing right?

But as soon as I flinched and my hand instinctively went for my back she'd stop her attack and send me back to my room in the infirmary immediately. It was frustrating but I knew her and Bak's hearts were in the right place, and the idea of suffering any more pain than I already was terrified me.

For the most part I was kept numb so I wouldn't feel a lot but when Bak sobered me up to do his daily check on how I was recuperating the pain unfortunately had to return and I bit my lip and muffled my screams into the blanket he had offered me to lay my head on during our first check.

But here I found myself, striking at the air and focusing on perfecting my sloppy movements. Street fighting, perhaps not the classiest of techniques but having for the most part, grown up on the rougher edges of the streets, I had been in my fair share of nasty brawls and had plenty of scars to prove it, a majority of them luckily lying where they weren't likely to be seen.

If my innocence was going to be out of action then I refused to leave myself that vulnerable, that was just pure idiocy. So I all I had left was years of back street clashes to back me up in my attempt to stay an exorcist, an attempt to keep the only taste of a family and home I had.

It wasn't brilliant but it was better than nothing, it would just have to do for now.

I leaned heavily on my knees, panting and wiped the sweat from my forehead. For the past week I had been getting up at this time, purely with the intention of being alone, and pushed myself to my limits until I was at the brink of collapsing.

Fou would then find me an hour of two later and wake me up with cold water to the face, her brow furrowed. She couldn't understand what I was doing, she couldn't anticipate my moves and I preferred to keep it that way.

She didn't need to know that I didn't get up at this time on purpose. She didn't need to know about the nightmares that plagued my limited sleep and left my whole being volatile and vexed. I would keep it to myself, the glimpses of masked people who loomed over me in my sleep; they would stay my own personal fear.

The vigorous training left me with no time to think and psyche myself out again, it kept my blood running and my eyes focused on my body movement.

My knees buckled then in the middle of my movement and I went crashing to the floor, gasping at the strain it put on my ankle. I didn't clutch it though, the ache was nothing compared to my back. I sat there on the dusty floor, leaning against one knee, my hot breath against my clammy skin.

The room suddenly felt like it had gone up at least ten degrees and wiped my face, I felt sticky and uncomfortable. Moving from my position I clambered onto my knees, noticing my reflection in the mirror against the large mirror on the other side of the room.

I wasn't the person I knew so well, this enervated pale figure that I knew so well. How had I become like this? How had I _allowed _myself to become like this? Kanda had very right to leer at me; I was a pathetic excuse for a living being right now.

"Where did Erin go…?" I murmured and swiveled around slightly to gaze at my still bandaged back. It bled more often at night and I could see the dark red stains against the starch white dressing.

There was an ache inside me, somewhere deep in my chest, perhaps even my heart. I needed to have those bandages away; they were a barrier between the old life and the amazing new one I got to live as an exorcist.

There was a more logical part of me still intact though; I could hear it's small voice, pleading me to leave the bindings as they were and to go back to bed. But I was never one to listen to logic.

I pulled at them, almost frantically, my top off and the bandages unwinding. My eyes were fixed on the bloody red markings, so beautiful and dangerous, on the pale exposed skin of my back. My fingers stretched out to touch them but hesitated, pictures of myself screaming in agony while Bak tried to hold me down flashed through my mind and a shiver ran through me. I wasn't even sure I couldn't handle something like that at this point…

My eyes met their inconsolable reflection in the mirror and a there was a small flicker of… hope?

It was an urge, that inquisitive part of me just had to know what was really going on in my body, and she couldn't wait for anyone anymore, she had to find out for herself if no one would give her the okay.

I took in a lungful of air and closed my eyes, afraid that seeing them in the mirror would cause me to have second thoughts.

Calming my mind, I steadied my fluttering heartbeat and shoved all the thoughts out of my head before they could change my mind. Then, my green eyes snapped open and my voice, exhilarated, whispered_, "Innocence activate"._

I could say it was like me sliced through with a sword, but the pain was so much more than that. It was literal torture, my blood-curdling scream was out before I could stop and I gasped, clawing at my throat and biting down hard on my lip to muffle the scream that threatened to escape.

Tears were running down my cheeks and I bent over until my face was buried in my knees and sobbed at the anguish. It was unbearable; it was a fate worse than death. But I had to be stronger than that; I had to get through this.

My breathing was haggard I tried to keep my howls quieter as I forced my eyes open and my head around to see the deformed reflection.

They didn't even come close to what you'd describe as wings, the distorted spines of ragged back twisting out from my back almost made me throw up the contents of my stomach right then and there. Nauseated, I gawked at them. They were so… sickening… and fragile.

"That's my innocence…" I whimpered as the realization hit me like a brick wall to the face, not pleasant in the slightest. And the tears were back, streaming down my cheeks, not in pain this time, but in grief.

My innocence, something that had become so precious to me in such a short time, was basically destroyed and hanging like death from my back. My hope very nearly shot out the window but I closed my eyes, desperately trying to get my head around the situation, and the throbbing headache I now had didn't help.

I wheezed painfully and gripped my knees until the skin stretched over my knuckles was white from the strain.

"Ignore it, ignore it, ignore it. It doesn't hurt, I'm not scared." My thoughts chanted and I whispered the words under my breath, my eyes squeezed closed.

I could feel the hot tears on my cheeks and I whimpered again.

Then I heard the voice, just a whisper at first, but it grew louder, a deep resonance through my ears, the rough voice surprisingly kind.

_"You can pull through this, you've been through so much before, and you are strong Erin. Never forget that…"_

The man's voice calmed me and let faith slither into my soul; I took a few deep breaths and murmured his words to myself with my eyes still closed.

I couldn't be sure how much time has passed while I was crumbled on the floor, bent over with my head buried against my knees. I could here something, it sounded like shoes echoing against the cool stone floor and the sound gradually grew closer. They paused for a moment and the pace quickened until they were right by my ear.

"Dear lord…" I heard that familiar voice mutter and a warm hand touched my shoulder lightly.

"Girl, you still alive?" Fou's bell-like voice asked and I thought I could detect an underlying concern in her voice.

I grunted and stretched my fingers, sore from being curled up in fists for so long and managed to answer in a strangled voice.

"Somehow…"

Her small figure crouched down beside me and my eyes fluttered open to see her frown framed by her vibrant orange hair. She cocked her head to the side and twisted her hands nervously.

"I need to get Bak, your… innocence…" Her words rambled off and her eyes flicked up to stare hard at my sickly back. Then they flashed back to me, more alarmed now and I gave my best wryly grin.

"It's as bad as it looks." A sad truth really, but somehow I found myself almost able to tolerate the blistering torture. The voice was right; I really was stronger than I gave myself credit for. I could handle this. I had too.

"Forget Bak, let's spar." I panted and slowly and painfully rose to my feet when a hard slap to my pounded head knocked me back down on my knees again.

I glanced up and saw Fou scowling at me; she clicked her teeth and turned to walk off in the other direction, pausing at the entrance to glare at me.

"Don't be an idiot. There's no way I'm fighting you right now. Just stay there, I'll be back with Bak and we'll get you to the surgery room."

I watched her go without a complaint and held my tender head. I wasn't sure why I had said that, now it seemed even more idiotic.

_"I guess I'm just that reckless…"_ I thought sullenly and pursed my lips, waiting for her to return.

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